Thursday, February 28, 2008

Breathe


There's a concept about growing old...a concept that we as women embrace but yet resist....I came across a saying that reinforced my belief in growing old...for me I've always believed that growing old is a beautiful process...we live...the older we live the more we travel down the road we call life...life in all its splendor is a journey...the choices we make define the road we travel on...along the way we come to stops..we come to turns...we come to dead ends..we meet people who give us a better understanding of who we are...who challenge us in more ways than one...who sometimes in the worst cases bring out the worst in ourselves...causing discomfort..sometimes its not them we don't like but the reflection of them mirroring qualities we possess subconsciously but would rather be in denial about...
Ive come across women who would love nothing better than to erase the signs of aging....understandingly we live in a very image conscious world...for me youth is just the beginning...the stories we've live through...the laughter we've shared...the pain we've survived...the experiences we have yet to go through all tell a story...that beautiful story is etched on our faces...theres nothing more poignant than being proud of your story...why erase it? Why carry it inside and conform to a society built on superficial looks? That is aging gracefully.
The saying I came across said that aging is not a curse..its a privilege...
The privilege to wake up everyday to face a new beginning...its a privilege to have more time to experience life..to make dreams...to pursue them and to be surprised by fates specific plans for you...its a privilege to fall down to your knees in your darkest hours and to pick yourself up again only to come out stronger and all the wiser and more inspired to make tomorrow even better.
I cant begin to describe how hard it is for me to understand that with the knowledge we have of our own being...we still hold ourselves back...we try to stop feeling...we think a million times before we dare to succumb to our dreams and desires...and we don't realize that we have only one life...for those that have the courage to live, they face the wrath or disillusionment of the people around them...how can we call ourselves humane if we are denying ourselves our own basic rights...the right to pave our own way...the right to walk upon our own chosen paths because we face condemnation from the same people who have the same dreams yet aren't comfortable in their own skin to materialize it.
Personally to a large extent I dont care...Im open to life...I love diversity...I get a rush from the unknown...and expect and accept that I will make mistakes because that firsthand experience unleashes sides of myself that I need to discover...need to tap into...you cant go on unless you know who you really are...and you'll never know unless you stop being in the comfort zone and step out of your bubble...we read about life and love...we lose ourselves in movies and novels and we wish for so much yet we stay guarded...the world is a curious fascinating place...the world is one phase after another...no matter which path you choose everyday is an enrichment of who you are...we owe it to ourselves to feel...to think...to reflect...to love...to look beyond the frivolities of life and to strive to be the best we can be...not what other people want us to be.
I wrote in a previous post that I've lived a million lives and for that Im a better person.
Absolutely no regrets.
I look forward to tomorrow...inshalla for all the years to come...all Ive ever wanted was to be sitting on a calm night decades from now...near a fireplace and on a rocking chair...looking back at my journey and smiling at the comforting ghosts of the pasts...the memories...the moments...the travels...the laughter...the achievements...and all thats enriched it...As I turn to the future love of my life next me, he catches my eye and looks at me with his own reminiscent knowing glance...and with no words spoken..smiles with me...
Its going to be one hell of a journey..

5 comments:

Mr Fur said...

deep..what can i say..i'm glad you write..without a little fear, the heart dies

Fastidious Babe said...

its nice to have a positive outlook in life, i know for a fact that nothing matches the rush of adrenaline u get when u start something new, meet someone new or just dive into unknown territory..

however, certain "paths" would toughen you up..

i will not burst ur bubble, infact its endearing to see someone with such a vibe :D

- to a perfect journey, and smile lines ( i would still go for botox though) xx

nyxxie said...

I wish you all the best because you are honestly deserving pc :)

Anonymous said...

i LOVED what u wrote..so true
the title reminded me of my favorite Anna Nalick song :)

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