Saturday, September 5, 2009

Kindred Spirit

“I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.”

Anais Nin

In a moment of solitude, Im curled up quietly reflecting on my here and now. The present is still crystal clear waters stretched out perfectly reflecting a starry cloudy night above. Not a whisper, not a hush..its all so pristine.There's not a ripple to break the silence or marr the picturesque display.

Beneath this facade, I know better, Im submerged in the deepest of thoughts..a weave of knots and tangles waiting to be unraveled but there is no rush..I take my is nothing new after all..the bubble of existence that plays on and channels itself into different outlets..escapism..we're all guilty of that on some level or the other..
An old familiar drifts by..floats and wavers for a fraction of a second, it sets me off on a new tangent away from the muddle of contemplation that had me occupied..
I missed you terribly today...I apologize for my lack of communication, cant explain how mind numbing and exhausting my paradigm shifts are, when I really wish I would have it in me to really talk to you..but cant.
It is reassuring to know that we'll always be a phone call away. I cant explain what that consistency means to me. My changes don't allow for me to enjoy our memory lane, however sometimes a fractured sentence regarding an insane moment in la la land does bring about a wistful smile to curl across my lips.
Though the imaginary seasons have stopped rolling and the chronicles put away with the portrait of Dorian Gray, the ghosts too have begun to fade. Sanity is proving to be worth the price of shattered dreams.
Was watching a film you recommended a long time ago, will sleep immediately after.
Who am I kidding?
The perpetual insomniac sleepless in her own sleep.