Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Destination Vertical

"No one believes that their life will turn out just kind of okay...We all think we are going to be great. And from the day we decide to be surgeons, we are filled with expectation. Expectations of the trails we will blaze, the people we will help, the difference we will make. Great expectations of who we will be, where we will go.
And then we get there.
We all think we’re going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren’t met. But sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still.
The expected's just the beginning...The unexpected is what changes our lives."

And finally just when I thought things could not get any better...The chapter begins..
He asked me why I wanted to be a surgeon?
"Theres a passion within that motivates and inspires us to be driven towards accomplishing our dreams goals desires whatever...." I looked up at him intently...."Surgery has been the love of my life Professor".
The next thing I heard was so unexpected that it came to me as a revelation...the feeling of a moment of greatness..Ive never been more humbled by somebodys words yet overwhelmed with awed anticipation at the same time..

Since Ive been appointed (omg surreal =))))))) the enthusiasm has been bubbling to bursting point all week....I love my patients in my old dermatology department and the rapport Ive established with them over the last few months happened so quickly...Whilst I was away on vacation the receptionist surprised me by informing me that they refused to see other doctors and waited until I got back...and lol I got the sweetest welcome...
To me thats priceless...its the best feeling in the world when you know that youve succeeded in getting your patients to trust you not just with the disease itself but in opening up to me about their lives...asking for my opinion on matters that werent related to my specific department because they know my solid belief in taking the time to listen, educate and explain whilst treating them and going out of my way with pleasure to make sure that at the end of the day Ive given each one of them 100% , so whether that requires me to seriously piss off Senior Consultant histolab guys ego when I asked for a second opinion on his very evasive diagnostic report on a patient that was stated to have query skin cancer for two years (wtf is that?!!) just to put the poor patient out of his misery then Ill do it....or be honest about better and more effective treatment options available elsewhere too then Ill do that the end of the day its a responsibility and as much as I hated working there in the begining things became better because now I get to practice my favourite art in the world.
Ive never felt more at home in a hospital than in the O.R..its an adrenaline rush I can't describe..learning new techniques and being challenged and inspired by some of the most professionally brilliant surgeons around...
Surgeons are another breed...we're neurotic...we're perfectionists and we are dedicated individuals with so many different fascinating and interests and activities in our own world.
I head off to London once more soon (yesssssssssssssssssssssssss!) to take my Basic Surgical skills course and I have so many things to do after that...its going to be a fantabulous year inshalla.
Things cant get any better than this. Life is good.

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