A day in the life of an insomniac

Love this vintage style calendar <3>

Quickie 5 min touch up to look fresh...Chanels facepowder/subtle highlighter..fave blush...a stain of Beige Vanille Guerlain on my lips and a spritz of my signature Chanel scent as Coco used to say...place your perfume wherever youd like to be kissed *swoon*

Must haves...Shiseido hand cream...Agenda Im also an amnesiac now lol...little notebook for quick rounds and ssexy betty boop for longer notes to prepare..of course the surgical handbook for quick info at your fingertips...I have to find my Oxford one :S

Hopping in the car

Driving to work in the morning with my beloved lounge music or Fairouz <3

Weekly update on new advances in surgery

Journal club for discussion of latest surgical literature published in journals

View from conference room with sunlight streaming in

The on call call room...lol no Greys Anatomy Mcsteamy and Mcdreamy antics going on in here.

The black coffee ritual...lets just say its a jolt that shocks your system and allows you to function

Nursing station where al the patients files are written up on and lab tests checked on during rounds.

Work station where we write most reports and gather together to discuss patients on our morning rounds

Oscar and Lucy (I have to change their names) cheer me up every day at the nursing station

Daily ritual of unwinding to music online

lol reading material tonight...Vogue and a surgical literature paper

Out of the kazillion Chanels I own I

Couldnt decide which everyday bag to change into to...finally the reissue won :)

My private room where I get to unwind and get treated like royalty with my favourite beauticians

The sssexiest shade of red ever invented on my freshly parafined toes..soft as a babys butt :D

theres the cutest surprise in there for myself

I had to get the shoes to match with this Champagne coloured evening bag...dreamy

This picure just does no justice (click pic for a close up)...its sparkly and is a sexy statement to a simple look

Fell in love with a black cashmere dress that is so Coco and so me...just add my Chanel ballerina flats and some pearls and lounge at home in.
Heres a gorgeous gray taffeta skirt that I have to have and deciding between two swimsuits
Also picked a cute hoodie to make my jeans looks sssexier :p

Moms day present :)

My cant live without Chanel No.5 milk bath and bath oil (Ive been loyal for seven years now) with origins nitghttime antioxidant mask and my softttttt snuggly bathrobe..cosiness doesnt get better than this :)

Im addicited to quiet sensuous lighting before bed especially since med school

My fave scent along with Diptyques Gardenia and Jo malones Pomegranate..heavenly sleep x

Have a starry night xxxx

What it feels like for a Doctor

Initial incision and exploration

Professor,specialist and resident..me :)

Holding the tumour.

"There's this whole ritual around going into the OR for a transplant that makes me feel like a high priest going into the temple: I cleanse myself, the patient is cleansed, and we go to a sterile environment.
The donor heart arrives in a cooler, and it feels like frozen turkey. It's about the same color, too. And slippery. Sewing it in should take less than forty-five minutes. To make sure no air gets in, the final sutures are put in underwater — under blood, actually. It's sort of like having sex: You need to feel the stitch. You sense the tip of the needle, and it has to feel correct — you're not going in too far, or missing the tissue, or getting too small a bite. As you're sewing, the heart starts to fill with blood. You have to time the last suture just right, just as the blood gets to the top.
The real anxiety comes when both clamps are removed and the blood starts flowing with pressure through the heart. That's when I can't help but wonder if I just killed someone. The new heart jumps around, trying to get its rhythm, like a fish flopping in a bucket of blood. Sometimes it can't. It just fibrillates, beating spastically, and we have to shock it.
The first five minutes are the most critical. If the heart turns from cream to pink, the color of a juicy steak, we're optimistic. There's this incredible feeling of bliss, like we've just reached our Zen moment. The high fives come out. But if it turns dark red and looks bruised, it's damaged, sometimes irreversibly. Then we close the skin up with number-two nylon, and I go out to tell the family I'm sorry."

Dr Mehmet Oz, World renowed Cardiac surgeon.

We had a patient come in diagnosed with a tumour in the abdomen scheduled for excision. On examination the mass was partially small and mobile.

After we opened her up I was so shocked to see the size of the tumour...literally it was the size of a fist.The worst part of it all was that it was so attached to the surrounding organs by adhesions that the Professor couldnt tell where the source of the tumour was...the pancreas was wrapped around it...was apprehensive about cutting off the bile duct by mistake...so he decided to go for a Whipple.

In the Whipple operation the head of the pancreas, a portion of the bile duct, the gallbladder and the duodenum is removed. Occasionally a portion of the stomach may also be removed. After removal of these structures the remaining pancreas, bile duct and the intestine is sutured back into the intestine to direct the gastrointestinal secretions back into the gut and allow the patient to have normal functions...the tumour was extremely vascular and it took a really long time to carefully dissect it out without causing serious bleeders..After almost four tense hours the tumour was out...the anastomosis was done...the drains inserted to prevent collections of fluids in the abdomen postoperatively and we closed up the skin.

It was the most thrilling experience ever...to be a part of helping someone in that way is something I cant describe...it pushes you...drives you...and brings you a sense of exhilaration...Im so grateful everyday for learning and for being given the privilege to continously keep that learning process undergoing until enshalla one day many years from now I will master it to an art.

The patient is recovering well el7amdilah and her prayers to the Professor on the round the next day just humbled me because this is what its all about...we strive to learn...to help...to improve ourselves as people and physicians everyday...and through all the personal struggles we have in our daily lives...the work problems and challenges we face as the beginners of the long road ahead of us...those prayers are what keep us going.

My la-la land

Im currently at work right now...on gorgeous Friday morning...its peaceful and really soothing.Woke up refreshed today after an early nights sleep (finally) the best thing about Friday work? No traffic...just a long wide expanse of clear road along the beachfront the cloudy skies up ahead tinged with the rays of sunshine playing peekabo casting different subdued hues across the sparkling sea.I popped in my chillout lounge CD and listened to zero 7's waiting line...the ultimate in morning smooth grooves...I put in a clip for you guys to enjoy too while you read the rest of this entry.

Walked in and whilst Im waiting for patients decided to do my shopping online...yippy skippy at the sexy stuff Im finding...Honestly this season Ive fallen in love with Miu Miu...gorgeousness...as a true Lanvin addict Ive never been disappointed..I found some very soft pieces..and a couple of Alberta ferretti silk dresses..lol not to mention the black silk Stella flapper style dress that I can dress up or down in a million ways...Im thinking biker jacket and ankle boots...or delicious Chanel pearls and silk louboutins...lol I can go on.
Its just that with all my life and time in the hospital...always trying to study for residency placement exams I get caught up in it all...I love creativity and like all the other women in this world fashion is an outlet for my creativity...an expression and an extension of myself and my varied moods...and since I barely have time to trawl the malls of dxb...AD is not exactly a variety filled garden...just labels and no sizes and no choice...its either when Im on vacation or online wrapped in my PJ's and snuggly robe...Heaven...

In the meantime I cant wait to hit the gym again in a couple of weeks...surgeons not allowed me to work out just walk for now...but on a plus note to add to my motivation I found the Chanel tennis racquet I was trying to hunt down..so cuuute...on a down side lol they didnt have the skirts I was lusting for.

Theres this Stella outfit above that I fell in love with...clean fresh simple lines and another cute one thats just fun...Im still on the lookout.

After the coaxing of one my sweetest pals...Im also going to take up skiing this year...lol another reason to hunt down Chanel skis ahahaha and a gorgeous snow bunny outfit to match...it'll be perfect for the upcoming summer months especially as I hate travelling in summer,for me its so passe...Fall winter vacations are incredibly delicious...and loads of fun.

I gotta run off right now...loves you guys bunches xxx

Breathe

There's a concept about growing old...a concept that we as women embrace but yet resist....I came across a saying that reinforced my belief in growing old...for me I've always believed that growing old is a beautiful process...we live...the older we live the more we travel down the road we call life...life in all its splendor is a journey...the choices we make define the road we travel on...along the way we come to stops..we come to turns...we come to dead ends..we meet people who give us a better understanding of who we are...who challenge us in more ways than one...who sometimes in the worst cases bring out the worst in ourselves...causing discomfort..sometimes its not them we don't like but the reflection of them mirroring qualities we possess subconsciously but would rather be in denial about...
Ive come across women who would love nothing better than to erase the signs of aging....understandingly we live in a very image conscious world...for me youth is just the beginning...the stories we've live through...the laughter we've shared...the pain we've survived...the experiences we have yet to go through all tell a story...that beautiful story is etched on our faces...theres nothing more poignant than being proud of your story...why erase it? Why carry it inside and conform to a society built on superficial looks? That is aging gracefully.
The saying I came across said that aging is not a curse..its a privilege...
The privilege to wake up everyday to face a new beginning...its a privilege to have more time to experience life..to make dreams...to pursue them and to be surprised by fates specific plans for you...its a privilege to fall down to your knees in your darkest hours and to pick yourself up again only to come out stronger and all the wiser and more inspired to make tomorrow even better.
I cant begin to describe how hard it is for me to understand that with the knowledge we have of our own being...we still hold ourselves back...we try to stop feeling...we think a million times before we dare to succumb to our dreams and desires...and we don't realize that we have only one life...for those that have the courage to live, they face the wrath or disillusionment of the people around them...how can we call ourselves humane if we are denying ourselves our own basic rights...the right to pave our own way...the right to walk upon our own chosen paths because we face condemnation from the same people who have the same dreams yet aren't comfortable in their own skin to materialize it.
Personally to a large extent I dont care...Im open to life...I love diversity...I get a rush from the unknown...and expect and accept that I will make mistakes because that firsthand experience unleashes sides of myself that I need to discover...need to tap into...you cant go on unless you know who you really are...and you'll never know unless you stop being in the comfort zone and step out of your bubble...we read about life and love...we lose ourselves in movies and novels and we wish for so much yet we stay guarded...the world is a curious fascinating place...the world is one phase after another...no matter which path you choose everyday is an enrichment of who you are...we owe it to ourselves to feel...to think...to reflect...to love...to look beyond the frivolities of life and to strive to be the best we can be...not what other people want us to be.
I wrote in a previous post that I've lived a million lives and for that Im a better person.
Absolutely no regrets.
I look forward to tomorrow...inshalla for all the years to come...all Ive ever wanted was to be sitting on a calm night decades from now...near a fireplace and on a rocking chair...looking back at my journey and smiling at the comforting ghosts of the pasts...the memories...the moments...the travels...the laughter...the achievements...and all thats enriched it...As I turn to the future love of my life next me, he catches my eye and looks at me with his own reminiscent knowing glance...and with no words spoken..smiles with me...
Its going to be one hell of a journey..

Quod Me Nutrit Me Destruit

I sat up for four days straight in between recovering and sleeping reading The Diana Chronicles...the highly controversial book that topped the bestseller lists weeks long before it was due in stores...From the media blitz before the release I was expecting a princess bashing book about shortcomings and the usual critique from the author.

From the first page I was hooked...it was one of the best page turners Ive come across...it wasn't a tabloid fiction based on loose facts...rather a deep psychological study on the monarchy and the Princess herself...as Brown writes she weaves the details and the facts together to bring you something Ive never encountered in any of the other Diana books...a sense of her true essence...the world she lived in and the world she created...up until the last moments of her life.

I think one of the things Ive always associated with her was her ability to laugh at herself and to be true to who she was regardless of how it would appear...the more she shared her flaws the more she drew people in...it takes alot to unapologetically be yourself and embrace your weaknesses in a world that focuses on pretty pictures of eternal happiness and perfection...For a Princess...there hasn't been any other quite like her.

We live in a hedonistic world...the pursuit of instant gratification and short term happiness by whatever means specific to each individual...Diana like the rest of us built her life around a dream...she built dreams out of that dream...We've all been there...we've believed in things that maybe we shouldn't have...we've pursued a star that upon almost reaching it vanishes showing us the fallacy of our deepest wishes...and we've all clung on to a notion that resonates within our subconscious to trigger off a rollercoater of beginings and twists...of the endless heady intoxication of highs and lows that not only take over your whole life, nourishing it to completeness yet causes a spiral of all your thoughts and dreams to come crashing down in one succession at the same time..

Annual Bubblys

I haven't updated recently as I wasn't well...the episode gave me a sudden jolt of realization of the fragility of the human being...working with patients slowly detached me from their physical pain and the role reversal shook me with a better understanding of what it really feels like being in their place...morphine is the worst drug in the world ever...Its literally nauseating..el7amdila for everything its been a good recovery and Im thankful to having my loved ones support me through it all..
So back to the bubbles....Although my personal journal has been full..I missed writing here...I decided to post my Annual List as its been on my mind for ages so I hope you all get to share the fun with me until I update with something more substantial soon.


Cleansers:
Dermalogica ultracalming cleanser...the best discovery this year.
Cle de peau eau fraiche cleanser...really gives a fresh soft finish without overdrying and respects your skins need to stay balanced.
Makeup Remover:
Johnsons baby extracare wipes with pale green moisturizing stripes...the perfect precleanse but does not remove mascara.
Chanels eyemakeup remover.
Moisturizer:
Chanel Hydramax+serum...boosts hydration levels of the skin and can be used in conjunction with almost anything.
Elemis Trienzyme peel serum and night cream.
Eyes:
Chanel Sublimage...simply put this is an absolute stunner...created a cult following and its not hard to see why.
Dark Circles...Hylexin.
Eyemask..Estee lauder stress relief eyemask/Clarins eye mask (pop in the fridge 10 min before for an ultra treat)
Masks:
Origins out of trouble 10 min mask...Nixes all your skin woes to deep cleanse and calm at the same time.
Guerlain super aqua sheet masks....the deliciously scented sheets impart serious moisture and utter relaxation of your senses...best used on a calm evening with warm pj's and lounge music.
Origins white tea guardian antioxidant nighttime mask...neutralises all those harsh antioxidants that attack your skin during the day.
Scrubs:
Elemis papaya enzyme peel...literally eats up all your dead skin cells that deprive you from a fresh glow.
Clinique gentle exfoliator...so soft it wont aggravate sensitive skin.
Bobbi browns buffing grains...a real favourite of mine...mix with water or any of your cleansers for a quick scrub. Dermatologist based treatments:
Chanel micro solution peel with 10% Glycolic acid...this once a year programme with micro ampoules for 21 days works perfectly in winter when skin is less prone to irritation from the sun and the heat in summer.
Natura bisse glycoline...for those with less sensitive skin has a higher concentration of Glycolic acid.
Breakouts:
Mario Badescu drying lotion
Kiehls drawing paste
Chanels purete ideal blemish treatment
for those breakouts that you just had to squeeze...apply Fucidin H cream at drugstores.
Suscreen:
Clarins UV Plus SPF 40....light as air.
Primer:
Laura Mercier oil free foundation primer. <3<3<3<3

Foundation:Lancome teint idole ultra.
Chanel teint innocence compact...smooths on skin like a fresh cool breeze...literally.
Giorgio armani luminous silk foundation.
Clarins teint souffle...I wont ever stop raving about this one.
Powder:
T.clerc loose powder...one of the worlds best kept beauty secret.
Dior forever compact...perfect to keep in your purse or the car for quick touchups...doesnt hurt that the packaging is cuuute.
Bareescentuals mineral i.d
Concealer:
By Terry lightening expert foundation/concealer...Shes the same creator of the infamous Touche eclat by YSL which comes second on this list.
Mascara:
Lancome Virtuose
YSL mascara volume effect faux cils
Body smoothers:
Kiehls soy honey scrub
Natura Bisse honey scrub...crystals of honey do the work on dry skin to later come into contact with water and literally melt into the skin leaving you with the softest skin ever.
Body creams:
Kiehls creme de corp
Hand cream:
Shiseido hand cream...rich and ultra moisturizing.
Foot care:
Apart from my obsessive weekly paraffin treatment I love to maintain my tippy toes with Bliss foot patrol cream and softening socks once a week...perfect for a cozy night in with a mug of cocoa and your bestie on the phone.
Hair:

Shampoo

Kerastase bain miroir
Kerastase Nutridefense bain satin
conditioner
Kerastase nutridefense lait
Bumble and bumble creme de coco...smells so gorgeous you'll want to eat it up
mask
Philip Kingsleys hair elasticiser
Frederic fekkai overnight hair repair
shine
Bumble and bumble brilliantine...gives me the perfect just rolled out of bed slept in look.
Frederic fekkai glossing creme.
styling product
Bumble and bumble straight...has seven different types of silicone in it so it coats the hair and gives a gorgeous result to your blowdry
Bumble and bumble grooming creme.
Kiehls silk groom.
Mason pearsons hairbrush.

Have a bubblybeautylicious weekend x

A smile and a skip

As a gorgeous celebration of the month of love and adhering to my New Years resolution of being open to new things I decided to devote my time to doing all the things that I love.
I have been ecstatically surprised to see that everyday has been gorgeous in its own right...Im more relaxed than I ve ever been and as a result I find a strength returning with alot of inspiration enthusiasm sparkling within me..
The older we grow the more we come to understand lifes more defining and poignant messages...You only have one chance to live it...why not vivaciously?

To you..one gorgeous track that Ive been addicted to since January, from one of my favourite arabic vocalists Elissa...cant wait for the music video...or is it out already?



The past two weeks involved devoting most of my time to proving my place in my new department with the support of the team..I feel like its another world and another breed of doctors...the Head is one of the most professional people Ive encoutered at the hospital and is looked upon literally and I quote as the 'Godfather'...all of the surgeons bend over backwards to win his respect and Im impressed with the level of teamwork and commitment that each of them put in to their day everyday...Ive been assigned to a specialist who is incredibly genius and is wholeheartedly teaching me the art of surgery from the working aspect to the how to think like a surgeon and allowing that to extend through to my own life..Happily my philosophical side is satiated to the point where waking up every morning has become a pleasure...and coming home with mental notes of things to read up on and research gives me a better sense of fulfillment.
I was assigned an intern too who is so sweet she makes me laugh everyday...and everytime she wants to sneak off the floor after her responsibilities are fulfilled she'd turn to look at me with the desperate bored look all interns learn to master and I would remember my own days...with the calmest voice I'd say "I don't want to know where you are I assume youre at the clinic right?" to which her face would break out into a huge smile and she'd skip off...home.

I leave you with a smile and a skip myself...Have a starry night xx