Muse

Inspiration comes in many unexpected forms.
Infamous 60's rocker self proclaimed "Lizard king" Jim Morrison, believed that the body was the soul's prison unless the five senses were fully developed and open.He considered the senses the 'windows of the soul' and that 'our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us.'
I find inspiration to be one of the most beautiful sensual experiences a person can go through..
To me inspiration is creation.
A chance conversation with a random stranger...the colour of the sky at dusk...a simple golden leaf in the midst of a pile of colours in the autumn...or a still winter night blanketed by softly falling snowflakes..a special era in time...a page turning book...an unexpected encounter with life...or the materialization of a dream before your eyes...all lead to different forms of creation...because no matter where or how busily immersed in lifes routine...a sudden epiphany stops us in our tracks and opens your soul...
I like to think we are all artists at heart...we articulate ourselves in different ways...the writer portrays humanity...the designer creates dreams...the surgeon heals artistically...the musician relays universal depths of emotion..and interestingly enough although we may get inspired by the same musings we coexist differently through the imaginary lines between us that paradoxically join us together in the recesess of our minds.
2007 was an inspiring year for me especially towards its end when I was least expecting it and it came as a lovely surprise in one gorgeous bubble...I learnt that planning ahead gets you far to a certain extent but the unknown brims with twists and turns that keep you on your toes and sometimes changes the course of your path forever..

This is why Im not making any resolutions this year..because as the final day of December draws to a close, I feel that life for me has come full circle...sure I have plans but better than that, Im throwing my arms wide open to embrace the unexpected everyday..Afterall, the fire that fuels is an open soul...and I cant wait :)

May This New year bring you all the treats and wishes that your heart desires...may it let you jump into fantabulous experiences and special memories to last you a lifetime...Heres to new beginings..BubblyCheers and Happy New Year xoxo

Destination Vertical

"No one believes that their life will turn out just kind of okay...We all think we are going to be great. And from the day we decide to be surgeons, we are filled with expectation. Expectations of the trails we will blaze, the people we will help, the difference we will make. Great expectations of who we will be, where we will go.
And then we get there.
We all think we’re going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren’t met. But sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still.
The expected's just the beginning...The unexpected is what changes our lives."

And finally just when I thought things could not get any better...The chapter begins..

He asked me why I wanted to be a surgeon?
"Theres a passion within that motivates and inspires us to be driven towards accomplishing our dreams goals desires whatever...." I looked up at him intently...."Surgery has been the love of my life Professor".
The next thing I heard was so unexpected that it came to me as a revelation...the feeling of a moment of greatness..Ive never been more humbled by somebodys words yet overwhelmed with awed anticipation at the same time..

Since Ive been appointed (omg surreal =))))))) the enthusiasm has been bubbling to bursting point all week....I love my patients in my old dermatology department and the rapport Ive established with them over the last few months happened so quickly...Whilst I was away on vacation the receptionist surprised me by informing me that they refused to see other doctors and waited until I got back...and lol I got the sweetest welcome...
To me thats priceless...its the best feeling in the world when you know that youve succeeded in getting your patients to trust you not just with the disease itself but in opening up to me about their lives...asking for my opinion on matters that werent related to my specific department because they know my solid belief in taking the time to listen, educate and explain whilst treating them and going out of my way with pleasure to make sure that at the end of the day Ive given each one of them 100% , so whether that requires me to seriously piss off Senior Consultant histolab guys ego when I asked for a second opinion on his very evasive diagnostic report on a patient that was stated to have query skin cancer for two years (wtf is that?!!) just to put the poor patient out of his misery then Ill do it....or be honest about better and more effective treatment options available elsewhere too then Ill do that too..at the end of the day its a responsibility and as much as I hated working there in the begining things became better because now I get to practice my favourite art in the world.

Ive never felt more at home in a hospital than in the O.R..its an adrenaline rush I can't describe..learning new techniques and being challenged and inspired by some of the most professionally brilliant surgeons around...

Surgeons are another breed...we're neurotic...we're perfectionists and we are dedicated individuals with so many different fascinating and interests and activities in our own world.

I head off to London once more soon (yesssssssssssssssssssssssss!) to take my Basic Surgical skills course and I have so many things to do after that...its going to be a fantabulous year inshalla.

Things cant get any better than this. Life is good.

Metamorphosis

Its been almost a week since I arrived...I was going through some of my entries in my personal diary and I shake my head in disbelief at how much things have changed mashalla...its been quite a trip...2007 has by far been one of my most enlightening journeys..
Its one thing to experience life outside of your own fishbowl and quite another to live it in that glass..the best part is that like a spectrum of extremes Ive been from one end to another and today I find myself in a zen like state of mind...Ive reached my balance..Life couldn't get any better than it is right now.
My thoughts have materialized into a definite plan...Ive already chosen my new years resolutions carefully and am embracing what's to come...I know the new year will bring so many unexpected surprises and that's what Ive loved about life...you honestly never know what state of mind you will wake up to tomorrow...just when I thought the end of this year was drawing to a close, the winter breeze blew in some stunningly beautiful magic in so many forms into the past month that changed absolutely everything..restoring my faith in life and in my recent decisions as well as grounding me to reflect on the multitude of blessings and chances that I find in my way every single day...Nyxx put it well..everyday you wake up is another chance to pray.
I believe its also another chance to love...to embrace...to take whats with you..shed your skin and morph into another more fantabulous you =)

I leave you with a woman who has morphed over the span of her twenty year career and who began to shed her skin while dealing with the difficult death of Micheal Hutchence lead singer for INXS who was her lover and mentor...shes faced adversity in the public eye which I think is one of the hardest things to cope with..managed to bounce back every time and is one of the sweetest scandal free women in the industry..Ive been a fan of her music since her first release in 1988 and this is a tribute to her new album "X" that was released last week in london and is already creating a storm especially in my car lol.
This is her first album after her imminent struggle with breast cancer and her much publicized break up after a 4 year relationship with french beau Oliver Martinez.
In the debut song "2hearts" she morphs into the role of reprising Marilyn Monroe and she looks fantabulous!

Halloween

The Witches' Spell

Double, double, toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
Fillet of a fenny snake
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and owlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth, boil and bubble.
Double, double, toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
—by William Shakespeare—

Let tonight weave a spell on you...meet vampires..ghosties and things that go bump in the night...

Rent your favourite classic and kickstart the creepy evening..

Bubblywishes for the sexiest and spookiest Halloween ever...

Kel 3am wintu b5air....Bubblybest wishes and loads of love to all xxx

Snow Queen

Summertime has always been one of the most tempermental times of the year for me...with the first warm breeze that sweeps into the city, invading it to billow into a full on blast furnace comes change...

Over the years Ive learned to accept the changes that come with this time...like the seasons of the year...passionate..growing...dying...blooming...the transformations that sweep into my life run their course like a flowing river that cannot be stopped..Ive learned not to interfere with mother nature...I go with the flow and no matter how much I want to step in...I understand that although you do you have control over your life...you have no control over what comes into it...when it comes to destiny, it is futile to not accept your limitations.

Rewind to a warm June afternoon..Sitting in one of my regular lunch hangouts absentmindedly twirling a strand of my hair, contemplating upcoming weekends plans and debating over whether I should have pasta or the healthier option of another boring salad, I waited with a classmate for a friend of mine to pick up an acquaintance of hers and join us.

As Sophie Ellis was singing in the background about murder and dancefloors my classmate randomly aknowledged the door with a nod of her head just in time for me to look up and see my friend walk in towards the table with her acquaintance, who swept in like a hurricane towards us...and all of a sudden I felt a completely changing dynamic in the atmosphere.

Dressed head to toe in cream holding a black purse in her hand, her hair swung nonchalantly over her shoulders...I sensed an imposing aura of self assuredness and something else I couldnt seem to place my finger on..something that just rubbed me the wrong way...surrounded by an elusive air of authority..the only touch of defiance...colour, was her red lipstick..I took one look at it and balked...

I was almost 23 years old at the time and was going through a myriad of phases that summer in the aftermath of a metamorphosis that had me examining and questioning myself and life more deeply...

Armed with the arrogance of youth I was in the midst of my quest to find answers for all the confusion I was feeling about what life really meant...I held pure contempt for any notion of the words authority and restraint and was torn in the realm of being in a world that I wanted so much to understand but yet not conform to at the same time..I stepped out of my comfort zone and found myself in foreign territory.

I was going through my rebellious phase.

Worldy and sophisticated, she represented everything I wanted to grow into at the time...She had all the answers, held her own and seemed always in control.

I was fascinated and repelled at the same time...I didnt want to associate with her for fear of being tainted in some way by her worldliness and thus bursting my own bubble...Her reality was too realistic for an idealist like me...I was happy manipulating life in my own way..my thrill-seeking freespirited devil-may-care attitude to life had me believing that the world was my oyster and that I was invinscible.

We disliked each other immediately.

We ended up being the best of friends.

Its been five years since that summer afternoon...Words cant begin to describe what a journey its been...I think in the span of all these years we've lived a million lives...gone through so much and Ive really been blessed to have her constant presence in my life...shes been the wisest person Ive ever known...my mentor and inspiration...in her youth lies an old soul thats never failed to persevere...I thank her for being a sanctuary to my innermost thoughts...for allowing me to do what I needed to without judgement and for never making it easy by giving me the answers...rather she let me find my own way...its been laughter and insanity and fantabulous memories.

Heres to you...a toast of bubbly cheers your way...May this year make you wiser sssexier and closer to your dreams than ever...Happy Birthday NJ xxx

Believe

"What is it about the sky that intrigues you?"
"It's about having the posture to hold your chin up, to raise your eyes to something higher, looking up in life."

When you believe-Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston



The world gives you so much...and it takes away even more.
Destiny has the strangest way of bringing you to terms with yourself...the closest you get to something..its not the same.
My spirit exists in my solitude.
I am not my memories...I am my dreams.
Believe.