Memoirs of an Insomniac

On Bubbly and Joie de Vivre

2010-08-28T15:23:00.000+04:00

Summer rolled by this year, rolled by in a thick blanket of heat and humidity. The stickiness in the air did nothing to elude the happy intentions of carefree days to come. Nothing could stifle the determined spirits of joviality. This was a summer to be remembered.

As Spain won the world cup and the frenzied crowds rallied in the Parisian streets with congratulatory bursts of song and dance, flags fluttering out of car windows and painted faces grinning cheerfully at each other, I strolled down an unnamed avenue taking in the festive atmosphere whilst a part of my mind was locked away from all forms of communication.

As I glanced up and saw the twinkling lights of the Eiffel tower in the distance, my eyes blinked back looking but not seeing and absentmindedly noted how regal it presented itself in the skyline, even from that far away. From the myriad thoughts that collided in my head, a quiet one beckoned to make me realize that Paris is not a city you discover..it discovers you.

It seems fitting I believe that the next metamorphosis in my life would be a shift to my spiritual roots. As I sit here I think about the journey that I am about to partake. I am excited and had it been any other place in the world I might have been apprehensive. The human spirit is akin to a fine wine, in order to mature and evolve into its different layers and subtle nuances it must be developed slowly over time at its optimal environment. One that cultivates and brings out its best.

As a free spirit whose headstrong nature always reigned over practicality, I find it seductive in a way, to finally live that life of leisure that I've always dreamed about. To take time to discover how I can work and socialize and relax and rediscover who I am in a setting where passion for what you do, what you believe in and passion for your life, is the uncompromising norm.

I wish you all a blessed Ramadan.

Love always,

Your PC x

Inspired

2010-05-08T10:48:00.002+04:00

'There are times when our convictions are tested.

It is in those times that we find our courage.
Even when you stand alone, you cannot submit to what you do not believe.
Choose your own path and walk it.
It may someday become apparent that the path you chose is not the right one,
but the mistake would have been made by you and you alone.
In that you can find comfort, strength and pride.
Conflict is an ever present aspect of society, without it progress cannot be made.
Finding value in what others overlook will give you what they do not have.'

"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal"
- Albert Camus

I came across this and I could'nt have put it better myself. The words speak for themselves.
Follow your heart. Take chances. Push your boundaries and believe.

xx

Retro Glam

2010-05-06T17:34:00.000+04:00

Beyonce goes retro in an homage to the likes of 50's pinup starlet Bettie Page. Clad in Dolce Gabbana and Chanel belts, this is a fresh take on music videos..total eye candy for the fashion inspired!

Speaking of fashion I'm in love with Carven's A/W '10 looks..a label for the petite cherie who loves classic dressing with a very french touch..check out the gorgeous camel colored coats in the collection.

xx

If You Forget Me

2010-04-26T20:35:00.002+04:00

I want you to know one thing.

You know how this is:
If I look at the crystal moon, at the red branch of the slow autumn at my window
If I touch near the fire the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log
Everything carries me to you
As if everything that exists
Aromas, light, metals, were little boats that sail
Toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
If little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly you forget me, do not look for me,
For I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners that passes through my life
And you decide to leave me
At the shore of the heart where I have roots,
Remember
That on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms
And my roots will set off
To seek another land.

But if each day, each hour,
You feel that you are destined for me with implacable sweetness,
If each day a flower climbs up to your lips to seek me,
Ah my love, ah my own, in me all that fire is repeated,
In me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,

My love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
Without leaving mine.

Pablo Neruda

It has been a while my bubbly readers x
As we pass through infinity, through this perspective called life, we do inspire and get inspired to remind ourselves and each other how vicariously we have to live it..Pablo did just that.
Thank you for all the lovely emails and messages over the past few months reminding me of one of my passions that you so enjoy..It brought smiles galore and hugs out to all of you.

Loads of love,
Your PC xx

Practical Magic

2009-10-31T00:28:00.005+04:00

'Sometimes we just stay up all night worshipping each other..like bats'.

If the player won't play below watch this right now here

A personal favourite of mine since '98 I recommend this as a fun must see.
Go down memory lane and pick up The Craft, Stardust and Bram Stokers Dracula whilst your at it and prepare to have a spooky one :)
As for me, I send a cauldron of witches voodoo and enchanting mystic dust your way to have a magical Halloween..may you all turn into bats ;)

To my Vampire in Salem..I wish I could be there tonight to cast a special spell at The Witching Hour.

Kindred Spirit

2009-09-05T14:42:00.004+04:00

“I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.”

Anais Nin

In a moment of solitude, Im curled up quietly reflecting on my here and now. The present is calm..like still crystal clear waters stretched out perfectly reflecting a starry cloudy night above. Not a whisper, not a hush..its all so pristine.There's not a ripple to break the silence or marr the picturesque display.

Beneath this facade, I know better, Im submerged in the deepest of thoughts..a weave of knots and tangles waiting to be unraveled but there is no rush..I take my time..it is nothing new after all..the bubble of existence that plays on and channels itself into different outlets..escapism..we're all guilty of that on some level or the other..
An old familiar drifts by..floats and wavers for a fraction of a second, it sets me off on a new tangent away from the muddle of contemplation that had me occupied..
I missed you terribly today...I apologize for my lack of communication, cant explain how mind numbing and exhausting my paradigm shifts are, when I really wish I would have it in me to really talk to you..but cant.
It is reassuring to know that we'll always be a phone call away. I cant explain what that consistency means to me. My changes don't allow for me to enjoy our memory lane, however sometimes a fractured sentence regarding an insane moment in la la land does bring about a wistful smile to curl across my lips.
Though the imaginary seasons have stopped rolling and the chronicles put away with the portrait of Dorian Gray, the ghosts too have begun to fade. Sanity is proving to be worth the price of shattered dreams.
Was watching a film you recommended a long time ago, will sleep immediately after.
Who am I kidding?
The perpetual insomniac sleepless in her own sleep.

xx

It Girl

2009-08-14T17:20:00.010+04:00

Miroslava Duma

Of the few 'it' girls that I come across reading, only a couple stand out to me as having a uniquely personal and individual sense of creative style..let's face it, with the massive influx media blitz of stylists, magazines and shows these past few years everyone can call themselves 'style icons' and 'fashion savvy' but it takes real style to put your love of fashion together leaving a memorable impression of genuine creative individuality.

Have a gorgeously stylish Friday night
xx

Fabulosity

2009-08-08T00:01:00.000+04:00

Bateel's date champagne

'Ca marche pas! Ca marche pas!' she walks in shaking her head with a giggle and looking airily at me over her blackberry thats frozen for the umpteenth time in the past few days..'This thing...ughhhhh!'

It's what we labelled a spontaneous mini break..away from routine and hectic work schedules for a good dose of chillaxation and laughter.

So we're lounging on a sunny afternoon waiting for our iced tea and going through another million ideas for places to hang out in over the next few days..Seriously this girl is the ultimate New Yorker living in Paris in the la la land of Dubai.
'You should have you hair wrapped up in a 60's behive french twist' I reply tilting my head and studying the layers draped across her forehead.

Her eyes light up 'Remember that French woman we met...'

'Nooooo babes!!! No pixie cut!' finishing her trail of thought with a laugh leaving her to ponder as she looks into the mirror and pauses..'Well she wasnt really french..' she trails off with another chuckle.

I smile and turn my attention to picking out a track on my music selection and the doorbell rings breaking my concentration..
'Ca marche paaas!' I breathe in an exaggerated indignation whilst I get up...she collapses on the couch in a heap of laughter at my accent as I answer the door..Theres a quiet silence before the room explodes with a fresh burst of bubbly laughter as she hears the conversation..
Seriously youve got to see it to understand it..that my lovelies is Fastidious Babe.

I think there are friendships in the world and then some..the warm familiar kind reminiscent of solid ones youve built over the years that simply transcend all the menial trivialities and allow you to just be, all notions of normal go out the window and you find yourself in hysterics over your quirks and randomness, your thoughts and happenings..in a comfort zone and it all flows naturally..the conversation, the musings and once again definitely the laughter..lots of insane hilarious bubbly highs

Over a screw-this-I-dont-want-to-think-about-life-Im-tuning-out break we decided on a spontaneous exchange..She learns to do my cosy peaceful thing and I get out of my relaxed perspective lol lazy as she likes to put it which always makes me laugh.
'La laa ma2saaaaa!!' Eyes widen in disbelief 'Ca marche pas! Ma9edggggg! Youre sooo lazy!'
I have to give her credit for really being gracious to have her go-getting soul put up with hours of lounging over our infamous raspberry martini mocktails.
It made the summer's end stretch into a fabulous one and all the better..friends like this are few and far between.

Ive had the best time in a long time..I laughed until I literally had my mascara running down my face and still kept laughing and everything got even more bubblier..from blocked chakra reading sessions to fall shopping to being indulgently aimless over one of the best weeks Ive had ever.
Life holds many fun twists and turns and as she put it some friendships are just meant to be..So here's a raspberry martini toast to you babes with a whole load of bubblycheers
For you my readers I leave you with a couple more shots and a promise to update sooner x

Sunshine

2009-07-19T00:10:00.008+04:00

A really witty read

Loves it!

Fastidious Babes fabulous taste in literature :D

Not a fan of MAC but a huge fan of honey..The Naked Honey highlighter

Spent the day after leaving my on call and decided to browse the mall after a good four months. I'm not big on shopping in AD as theres nothing that holds my interest here, but nonetheless it was good fun to just have a change from the routine of work and venture into the real world.

That doesn't mean that things have been stagnant for me though..since returning from my last adventure 4 months ago, I've been restless and the urge is reeling to a new metamorphosis once more.

So far my plans are shaping up well and the fun part is theres quite a few things pending whilst I sort myself out with it all, including new hobbies. The summer tends to get a bit slow so Ive decided to try out some pretty interesting things that I have time for now and just need to commit to. Im inspired and that's been a really good rush by itself..there's nothing like a bit of sparkle to suddenly breeze in with the summer heat and put you in a really good mood.

You'll have to watch this space for more on that to come..

Have a relaxing day off tomorrow my bubblylicious readers.

The September Issue

2009-07-13T01:40:00.000+04:00

August 28th releases the documentary The September Issue in tandem with U.S Vogue magazine's most anticipated issue of the year, the mega fashion packed read thats so heavy with style its literally two kgs in weight.

This documentary followed her as she and the Vogue offices prepared for the 2007 September issue. A new piece of info? Wintour never wears Prada lol.

On Birthdays and Summer tans

2009-07-12T19:24:00.014+04:00

Midas Touch

The elusive perfect shade of red

I knowwww! lol

The past few weeks caught me in a continuous cycle of work and weekend on calls, with the extreme heatwave that has attacked the country and the intense blast of humidity injected in the air for good measure I seriously went into flat-not-so-bubbly-mode. But like all things I cant stay in a dreary phase for long and I figured I needed to snap out of it asap.

I just realized my last post was my 100th..so happy hundreth to this cosy corner..I really should update more often. I also celebrated my birthday this past weekend and had a relaxing chilled out day with no pressure-for-fun, rather a go with the flow soothing lazy indulgence.

I got the sudden urge this weekend to go bronze goddess and transform myself from fair to honey and I must say it was really fun to do something different for a change. Stayed in this past week watching,yes I know Dynasty of all things (it's become a guilty pleasure lol) and a few other shows to catch up on before the fall season episodes begin. True Blood was rated as one of the top seasons premiered but so far Ive been disappointed, the awful casting and the slow plot lost my interest at episode 4..I guess I'll move on to other things.

On a bubblier note I got my lust listed black birkin a while back finallyyyyyy and it was the coolest thing ever. Although Im not really a hardcore fan, London Hermes is so much more accommodating than what I've heard about Dubai..in the past 6 months Ive managed to pick up three birkins from them with no drama whatsoever and theyve been really sweet in helping their customers find what they look for.

That's it from me right now, there are definitely more news and posts from me to come my bubblylicious readers. Thank you for being so patient. InD you had me smiling at your update prompts :)

Have yourselves a bubblylicious summer night xx

Midweek Quickie Bubbly Post

2009-06-23T21:14:00.007+04:00

Love the Chanel like sexy goth rocker chick fashion vibe and makeup...Love the lyrics...Love the way they rock it.

Have a sexy fun night xx

For Your Eyes Only

2009-06-17T09:08:00.007+04:00

"The Governor paused and looked reflectively over at Bond. He said: "You're not married, but I think it's the same with all relationships between a man and a woman. They can survive anything so long as some kind of basic humanity exists between the two people. When all kindness has gone, when one person obviously and sincerely doesn't care if the other is alive or dead, then it's just no good. That particular insult to the ego - worse, to the instinct of self-preservation - can never be forgiven. I've noticed this in hundreds of marriages. I've seen flagrant infidelities patched up, I've seen crimes and even murder forgiven by the other party, let alone bankruptcy and every other form of social crime. Incurable disease, blindness, disaster - all these can be overcome. But never the death of common humanity in one of the partners. I've thought about this and I've invented a rather high-sounding title for this basic factor in human relations. I have called it the Law of the Quantum of Solace."

Bond said: "That's a splendid name for it. Its certainly impressive enough. And of course I see what you mean. I should say you're absolutely right. Quantum of Solace- the amount of comfort. Yes, I suppose you could say that all love and friendship is based in the end on that. Human beings are very insecure. When the other person not only makes you feel insecure but actually seems to want to destroy you, its obviously the end. The Quantum of Solace stands at zero. You've got to get away to save yourself."

'Ian Flemings collection of short stories'

To everyone reading out there that I've come across..the bloggers, the writers and the people in our daily existence who've expressed their trials and tribulations..Sometimes the unforgivable might be forgiven..but it won't ever be forgotten.
It's insignificant what the other side likes to believe, wants to think or what they try to justify to you.
Take the moral high ground my joie de vivre loving readers, and take heart.
Living well is the best revenge.

xx

Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel

2009-06-16T10:59:00.007+04:00

August 25th sees the launch of Mariah's new album :D !! I cant waittttt! Here's the new single that just released today, aptly named 'Obsessed'.
Diva trumped the rapper Eminem yet again, (after her song 'Clown' that appeared in her Charmbracelet album), for his hideous new song that dissed her husband and half of Hollywood that he recently released..either way the vocals are new, the tone of her lyrics are stronger than the last time and it looks like something that will grow on you, but for now, who cares lol its Mariah.

Also Whitney houston is also releasing a new album this year, and a slew of my fave artists, so this winter looks like it's gearing up to be accompanied by a fabulous soundtrack :)

xx

BubblyBirthday

2009-06-07T21:47:00.000+04:00

Queen Fi's birthday came up this weekend and I decided to give her the BubblySpecial :)

So we packed our Choos and Chanels and set off for the perfect escape..

From cupcakes and candles..summery balloons and roses all over our private terrace and of course my bubbly playlists, it was definitely a weekend to remember..we sat with our favourite friends (Mousie I missed you there xx) and laughed the weekend away underneath the stars, following a luscious day before with Fi at the spa where we unwinded the week's tension and melted under utterly blissful therapeutic hands, to be buffed to perfection and massaged to the point where we felt like we were floating..we're still literally glowing.

Dubai is one of those magical escapes that always holds such good memories for me..every time I go it just keeps getting better, more relaxing and definitely more bubbly.

She still hasn't told me what her wish was when she blew out the candles lol..Fi when you read this, I hope it comes true and I love you more than anything in this whole wide world..Im gonna sign out right now to find her and give her a big hug lol.

To sisters and friends (especially you M)..where would we be without them?

Riverdale Wedding Bells?

2009-06-01T16:47:00.006+04:00

Yes one of my guilty pleasures is immersing myself in a good Betty and Veronica comic on an afternoon when reality and life would just.need.a.break.
Like most of you they were fun beach reads when we were all in high school..but I kept reading in college to escape from biochem exams and once in a while when I pick up my monthly Vogue, I cant resist those two..they take me back to happier days of carefree teenage fun.
Betty the blonde straight A student known for her sweetness and perfect brownie baking skills, always being placed on the back burner for frenemy Veronica Lodge, daddys little fashionista with attitude and the most luscious bedrooms ever created in comic history, when it came to fighting for Archies affections.
This August apparently with rumours swirling of a proposal to Veronica as Betty walks in, I wonder..is it true? Will 68 years of the Riverdale gang be over after this or will it continue with them no longer being 17?
Will Freckle face actually marry Veronica or will Betty finally land her love of her life?
I cant wait to find out xD

So who do you vote for? lol

Have a bubbly afternoon xx

Red Velvets..

2009-05-31T18:34:00.013+04:00

So I spent the afternoon with my little sister Queen Fi (who's my bestest friend in the world and has magic fingers mashalla when it comes to whipping up our favourite dishes, its the aura that comes from them...all love) making the infamous London Hummingbird Cupcakes' from their secret recipe...getting it, no easy feat I tell you.
Behold beneath you, the image of the exact same rich taste..decadently mouthmelting buttery icing and a whole lot of laughter as we created utter magic.

Red..?

Perfection...

Queen Fi's magical hands x

Have yourselves a really fun evening xx

Stella Paris '09

2009-05-30T20:47:00.000+04:00

Kate Bosworth wore her creations at this years Costume Institute Gala. I fell in love with the jumpsuit and envisioned long standed pearls, perched on a chaise lounge..Stella always adds a sexy fresh twist to daily dressing whether its day or night and this years collection is just as cute as last winters.

Classic never looked so good.

Blanket

2009-05-29T17:53:00.008+04:00

Chill out and unwind to this sexiness..

Have yourself a luscious Friday night xx

Holistic Detox

2009-05-16T17:07:00.004+04:00

Princess Diana couldnt get enough of his treatments, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Moss and Sadie Frost raved about him incessantly...I was intrigued.
I read his book last year and was really impressed with his simple sensible healthy detox plan that I tried to adopt and then decided to see for myself this January what the hype was all about.
I was greeted by a receptionist who gave me the usual questionaire to fill out in most medical clinics...lifestyle, habits, medical history etc..There were shelves filled with his organic remedies and healthy food constituents.
I saw a girl walk in followed by a man who took a small vial of liquid added a few drops of something else from a jar, shake it and pass it on to her with words of encouragement and requesting to see her in two weeks time.
He then turned to me and smiled...In his crisp British Indian accent he introduced himself as Joshi and lead me up a narrow staircase to his airy office...very calm and relaxed we talked about my hectic lifestyle, my chronic insomnia and how I just needed to feel perkier after the insane past year I had.
After the discussion he advised me on a session of acupuncture and quite a healthy dose of his detox meds as well as continuing on his food advice. I was lead to a massgae table in the middle of the room and he placed the needles in my feet, my arms,my forehead and ears..surprisingly I didnt feel a thing..He left the room for a while whilst I had a Juliette Binoche lookalike therapist come in quietly to check on me..I was expecting to feel sudden tranquility or euphoria but disappointingly didnt.
After the session he led me downstairs with a load of his detox meds to suit each requirement he diagnosed and a sheet of advice on food with a stress on soya milk. We arranged a follow up appointment and he warmly set me off on my way.
As I walked down the street ten minutes later I felt like I was floating on air..literally..like all my blocked chakras internally were sparkly bursting bubbles..I went home took the herbal remedies and the next morning I was glowing.
I'm back on his detox today and its a good thing to do from time to time..his clinic now has introduced in conjunction a very lavish gym for yoga and other chakra relaxing work with a personal trainer for a complete holistic body program.

You can contact him at http://www.thejoshiclinic.com/

xx

Opulent Glamour

2009-05-15T14:05:00.003+04:00

Along with the eagerly anticipated Chanel movie, this winter the movie musical Nine is set to be released..not only does it cast every single actor I love in it (Nicole Kidman,Daniel Day Lewis,Penelope Cruz,Kate Hudson <3 )Marion Cotillard and Dame Judi Dench..but it looks like one of those cinematic artistic masterpieces that transport you to another time and place.

Once again, Im thrilled the weekends here..I think we should add another day to the week and call it Funday lol..Either way, I hope you all have an utterly relaxing Friday xx

Underneath the Stars

2009-05-10T16:12:00.003+04:00

It was one of the best weekends Ive had in a really long time...we lazily lounged and relaxed, met some fabulous new friends and laughed so much all through the entire night over a really long chilled candlelit dinner dressed in robes amidst the backdrop of sailing yachts and the twinkling stars.

Bubblycheers to carefree pleasures xx

Disappear

2009-05-08T12:58:00.006+04:00

Last night, I heard this beautifully heartfelt ballad..The vocals are a stunning showcase of art.

There is a time in life when we think we've done our best..but we havent come even close..we take things for granted and are happy with the justifications we give ourselves..and just when we realize the err of our ways we look around and its too late..much too late.
What did we expect?

Enjoy your Friday xx

Model as Muse

2009-05-06T12:25:00.003+04:00

Monday night held the annual Costume Intitute Gala at the Met..None appealed to me except these three.

Looooooove the hair and makeup although the lower part of the dress was hideous so I cropped it lmao

Shes just genetically blessed and they make the cutesttttt couple!

My perfect evening look..black silk, beautiful lace and a sultry smile. Works every time x

Audrey For Chanel

2009-05-06T12:16:00.004+04:00

In honour of her depiction as Coco Chanel in the new movie, Audrey Tatou has become the latest icon following Deneuve and Kidman to portray the timeless No.5. With Billie Holiday crooning in the background and the summer drawing near, we're taken back to a slower place in time...eternally classic xx

Wake up to..

2009-05-01T10:30:00.004+04:00

A romantic comedy dubbed as the modern Breakfast at Tiffanys..Perfect for an afternoon cosied up with your bestie and a healthy dose of your favourite comfort food :)

Ive really started enjoying Fridays..its the mid weekend day and mornings are fun to wake up and lazily stretch out to unless you blink realize its friday and snooze once more (heaven!!)...I drink my chai, aimlessly read through the paper and breakfast is always my once a week proper sit down treat..Ive been affected by Susan Boyles music so much that todays music tune was Bocelli and Brightman's 'time to say goodbye'..Ive posted it below for you guys whilst you plan the rest of your weekend.

Have a relaxing Friday xx

Watch this!

2009-04-18T14:14:00.002+04:00

My favourite versions of 'Cry me a river' were Julie London's and the deep sexy trancelike beat of Illumination..that is, until I came across this gem.

Live the dream peoplesss xx

Its the je ne sais quoi

2009-04-10T14:35:00.001+04:00

Every now and then I come across a girly book that I enjoy reading...a fun light how-to guide that celebrates being a woman and all the little nuances that come with it ...Over the years my bookshelves get stocked with the books I label as my 'guilty pleasures'..nothing too serious or literary..just delving and escaping into some good old fashioned candy pink fluff...good quality chick lit...'Bergdorf Blondes' comes to mind as I write, interesting how-to's, the ubiquitous Camilla Mortons 'How to walk in high heels and A girl for all seasons' your basic tips here and there..basically a good read to spend my afternoons unwinding.

Given my firm belief that in another life I must have been born a Parisian, in 2005 I bought 'Entre nous..A womans guide to finding her Inner French'...the fact that Im posting this now is because shes coming out with a sequel this fall that I am looking forward to reading...anyhow, this one stood out because its the one book that I will pass on to my daughter one day..a deliciously compelling read.

Enjoy your Friday xx

Bronze Goddess

2009-04-06T15:54:00.004+04:00

Soleil de tan Chanel

So my last post got this fun discussion going with Tweenkie Belle and Fabulous Babe (my nick for her) about bronzers..I wanted to post this new must-have face bronzer that was released in the States a few weeks ago and is already sold out...I saw it with my sis and loved the sheer colours that can range from a peachy tint to a full on sunkissed glow. Worry not, the range will be released in Europe next month and should definitely hit our shores after that or around the same time.

The Body Shops Body and Leg Shine

Michael Kors Classic Leg Shine

In terms of a tan whatever you choose the nicest thing you can do to it is make it subtly glow. A few years ago I found this delicious scented stick from Michael Kors that worked like magic..over a tan it highlights and gives a really pretty sheen on areas like legs,collarbone and top of arms. I ran out and I found an amazing replacement in the Body Shops stick...its stunning...they also have a tube of this liquid molten gold called Shimmer Sun that glides on for more of an impact anywhere including face..it reminded me of Scott Barnes Body Bling which works creative magic if youre looking for a deeper shimmer.
If youre on the beach this summer take a bottle of Nars Monoi Oil Body Glow that works beautifully over tanned skin to give a really sexy sheen. You dont want the oil to fry your skin so don't forget the sunscreen.

Scent of Sweetness

2009-04-04T22:20:00.004+04:00

Finallyyyyy Jo Malone opens up in Dubai Mall :) Yippyskippy!

So go stock up on your Vitamen E body scrub, treatment oil or yummy lipbalm...the newly launched Kohdo wood collection or the ubersensual Pomegranate Noir candles that turn your bedroom into a sexy boudoir.

I cant wait to hit Dubai this weekend.

Sweet Dreams xx

Two Lovers

2009-04-04T21:41:00.004+04:00

Released a couple of weeks ago and cited as apparently being the last film Joaquin Phoenix stars in, comes a story of "the eternal and vexing conflict a man can feel over pursuing a bewitching, sexually fascinating neurotic and choosing a good, attractive but less mysterious woman who's the more sensible partner". Gwyneth Paltrow has been a personal favourite of mine since Great Expectations and Sliding doors and Im anticipating this to be a really thought provoking flick.

Speaking of deep films...I saw Penelope Cruz and Sir Ben Kingsley star in Elegy...an incredibly fascinating and thought provoking movie..showcasing "the passionate relationship between a celebrated college professor and a young woman whose beauty both ravishes and destabilizes him"...her self assuredness and deeply observant direction as well as her vulnerability really should earn her another Oscar nomination after her fantastic job in Vicky Cristina Barcelona..I felt like I was intruding on something so personal and so juvenile at the same time, like a person caught in the middle of a couples moment in public and doesnt know what to do with that...or where to turn your head..I have to say it won't appeal to everybody, but I relished seeing a movie that spoke to me about the human psyche in so many different layers.

Lighten Up

2009-04-03T13:18:00.003+04:00

Kate Moss for Topshop S/S 09 was unveiled yesterday and I love the fresh take on the line..a bit 50's, a bit girlie glam, with splashes of colour, its definitely something fun.

Lets see when it hits stores here :)

Have a bubblylicious Friday x

Reincarnation

2009-04-02T19:17:00.001+04:00

In my hallucination

I saw my beloved's flower garden

In my vertigo, in my dizziness

In my drunken haze

Whirling and dancing like a spinning wheel

I saw myself as the source of existence

I was there in the beginning

And I was the spirit of love

Now I am sober

There is only the hangover

And the memory of love

And only the sorrow

Oh sweet bitterness

I will soothe you and heal you

I will bring you roses

I, too, have been covered with thorns...

Rumi

Mystical poetry is interpreted in so many ways..I placed an abridged version here and Madonna reads the whole version so beautifully...Id like to see what everybody elses take on this is..My interpretation is in the title :)

Canvas

2009-03-21T16:24:00.005+04:00

Im loving the feedback on my last beauty post, thank you bubblylicious readers xx
I'll give you the big reveal and finally let you in on my holy grail cosmetic must haves, there better be stock at the beauty counters when I resupply lol...no,seriously you will love how transformed you look after this.

Laura Mercier's tinted moisturizer

I always keep saying that if you take really good care of your skin your base should never be a problem which is why I place such an emphasis on skin rather than makeup...this is the most gorgeous veil of colour that literally does everything you want a base to do...apply it sheer with a brush...dot it on with your fingers...or simply blend it with a cosmetic sponge when you need a bit more coverage...it comes in an oil free formulation too and is perfect for every season in our parts of the world..allow it to sink in and then move on to the concealer below.

Laura Mercier undercover pot concealer

My tiny miracle..It comes with two parts...the right side is creamy whilst the left has a bit more holding power...use whatever side you like to manipulate colour on different areas of your face or blend both to get another shade depending on what kind of coverage you need and what type of blemish you want to hide e.g a fading mark or a new blemish..At the bottom of the concealer pot comes an illuminating powder to tap on after you finish. Really.good.stuff.

I recommend you apply your concealer with the secret camouflage concealer brush or any concealer brush you have, because its goes on perfect and when you use your fingers youre not as accurate and tend to take away or rub off the concealer from your skin with the finished result ending up looking a bit caked.

Follow up with translucent powder on bridge of nose chin and forehead...stay away from cheeks to keep the dewy look along your cheekbones.

If you cant find it here in the UAE, try Clarins souffle de teint (posted that in my bubbly beauty awards a year ago I think) and Guerlains/YSL/Dior flashradiance brush concealer until you actually source what youre looking for.

Enjoy xx

The City

2009-03-20T21:03:00.003+04:00

The new spin off ,The City, from one of my guilty pleasures the Hills, has made its way into my lounging time... L.A girl Whitney Port moves to NY to start working at DVF...Olivia Palermo, socialite and colleague provides loads of entertainment fashionwise and although initially slow, the show is gaining momentum.
Check it out x

Of Vintage Hollywood and Chanel

2009-03-18T01:47:00.005+04:00

There is a place in time to which my heart shall truly belong...An era where ladies were ladies and gentlemen were simply divine inspiration for women to be even more ladylike lol...Everything was elegant and vividly portrayed by stories passed on to us from our grandmothers, books and photos, to the Hollywood silver screen that captured timelessness and left its legacy for us to dream into..
A couple of months ago I promised Fastidious Babe that Id post a short list of classics to watch, to kickstart a movie title exchange amongst us..Before I leave you I'm about to jump with delight having received news that Coco Chanel's biopic movie before she became Chanel the legend, featuring Audrey Tatou will be released next month..in french...(more reason for me to seriously continue learning the language rather than stop every two months) so for the fluent ones, who wants to come watch with me and translate lol?

Heres a sneak preview :)

1.Gigi....Leslie Caron...theres a reason I put this first..
2.Butterfield 8...Elizabeth Taylor
3.Beyond the Valley of the dolls...Psychedelic-ly delicious.
4.The Graduate..Mrs Robinson is a classic
5.Gentlemen prefer Blondes..Monroe is actually watchable in this one.
6.High Society...my personal fave Grace Kelly flick.
7.Casablanca...the bittersweet "We'll always have Paris".
8.Belle De Jour...Catherine Denueve's wardrobe is tdf..vintage YSL and Roger Vivier make it worth watching..subtitles for the nonfrench peoplesss
9.All about Eve...Bette Davis
10.The way we were...Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford or Funny girl...Barbra streisand and Omar sharif
Bewitched the series, seriously a perfect backdrop at home to tune out the rest of the world when needed.

Hugs xx

Indulge

2009-03-17T01:12:00.004+04:00

Im an obsessive compulsive beauty junkie...I love finding out what really makes skin a dewy glow...what to bail me out in an emergency (hello monster breakout!) ...and what doesn't live up to what it promises, as well as faithfully trying and testing the new.

I thought it would be fun to post a list of my 5 favourite must haves :

I really wanted to see what the hype was about this one, from beauty editors all over...so I left my regular moisturizer on hiatus and went for this...three days later I found myself buying the whole range..Its no secret that hyaluronic acid is a major plumping ingredient for lush skin...this gave my skin a rested glow and was a perfect base for my tinted moisturizer afterwards..If youre over 25 I absolutely recommend it.
Rodial's Glamtox day SPF 18
I cannot rave enough about this product for three reasons..It literally takes off every single dull cell on your face whilst the creamy chamomile base calms your skin and sinks deep in to leave you looking like youve literally just had an oxygen facial..apply your regular serum afterwards and be delighted at how your skin texture is pure velvet.
Sisley's Gentle Facial Buffing Cream.

Experience addiction like no other...This is the one product that whips your hair into a pure silk infusion..Love the scent too.
Alterna's Caviar Antiageing Seasilk Moisture Range.

Laura Mercier is just uber fabulous..her newest addition to her star Almond Coconut range is this divine hand cream. Its the cutest size and makes you want to keep moisturizing your hands all day...stock up on this for your purse...your car..the office.

Five minutes pre-shower dry body brushing daily is a religious must. It increases circulation and helps the body's natural detoxification process, helping in the fight against cellulite.This natural cactus brush is one of the best Ive tried. Because of its texture, make sure you run it lightly over skin and always towards your heart.

Elemis Body Brush.

Enjoy x

Bringing Home The Bubbly

2009-03-03T15:45:00.013+04:00

Aljoud this one's for you :)

'What you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for..You become what you believe'

In my most adventurous chapter yet, I stood still not willing to go further, not thinking I could...In the midst of all that you've never known..the new...the unfounded...the trepidation you feel when you have to jump and you don't know how...when youre right at the brink staring into the foray of unchartered waters..Theres an exact moment of lucidity where everything becomes crystal clear.

At that moment you've just found yourself.

Whether you sink or swim is a relative matter because it stems from a conscious decision made directly from the centre of your being.

It doesn't get purer than that.

Phases and seasons passed...likewise, as I slowly emerged from one and transcended into another I found myself journeying through the fall, the long winter and finally undergoing the last metamorphosis of an internally arduous phase with the promise of the new bloom of spring.

Where I used to be, spiritually speaking, was on a completely different tangent...when they say time and space create clarity and garner a much needed ambience to reflect...I'm compelled to agree..

Living in anonymity for so many months and disconnecting from a life I was getting so used to, that it started becoming a habit rather than a life, was one of the most liberating decisions Id taken for myself in a long time.

I believe we find ourselves in the space between, because we forget..what our real priorities are and then we procrastinate when we are aware of them..we have an uncanny aptitude for focusing on all that distracts us and unknowingly drains us..No matter how it ends up manifesting itself, there's a certain restlessness that persists..until you find your own truth.

Its time for me to join all that I love in my little niche...Im coming home.

To Adventures

2009-01-17T06:23:00.002+04:00

I know this has definitely been an overdue one from my side but I figure since we're still in January I can blow best wish kisses to all of you for a really adventurous year ahead.

I have a feeling this year will bring so much to everyone...with all thats happening in the world and within our own lives the past year...its brought a new determination to live it up and see those goals and dreams actually materialize, so Im confident that most of us will be in this mindframe throughout the year...Im glad because its optimism at a time when we need to rebel against the depression that constantly chases after us..one thing that resonated within me with such a profound effect a few months ago was hearing that phrase repeated with conviction during Obamas winning speech...Yes we can.

On a global level we are sick of the endless tirades of wars against each other and amongst ourselves...the new sense of urgency that has emerged urging us to seek peace now more than ever before is definitely a determination to fight back the chaos in a world absolutely fed up with the past 8 years of politics from the deranged Bush administration and the disgusting behaviour of Israel currently. Its moving to see change occuring and gaining momentum slowly but surely and our generation is definitely one thats not ready to put up with any more.

On a personal level its all about pushing boundaries in ways that we've never experienced before..right over the edge.

I know that Im definitely in for some great surprises this year.

So heres to a good year ahead full of the unknown..adventures and new thrills x

Signing Off

2008-09-13T20:29:00.005+04:00

Its been one hell of a long year...it passed as quick as it came...seasons merged together in the blink of an eye since last winter and we're almost there again once more. On a deeper level I've reached the end of an era and the begining of new chapters in my life...Im so excited I wouldn't have changed anything for the world..its true..God has a plan for everyone, we think we know what we want but little do we know what fate has in store for us..Im glad I kept my new years resolution of not making any plans and keeping open to life because it was so worth it.

Its time for me to go away very soon...in a strange way its like going back home and Im looking forward very much so to it...I cant wait to greet winter with open arms and I cross my fingers that this year it snows whilst Im there...the sky is the limit....I hope I can try to update because I'm also taking these few months as a breather to challenge myself and center my focus on my priorities.

I will however update my player soon with loads of my fave tracks to keep you company until I return.

In advance I extend wishes for a 3eid Mbarak...a spooky Halloween...another 3id mbarak...a sexy happy New Year filled with bubbles laughter and new wishes...and a mushy Valentines day all sprinkled in a flute of pinkbubbly with lots of love from me...your PC xxx

Kel 3am winto b5air

2008-09-02T04:13:00.003+04:00

Embarak 3alaikm el shahar...Best wishes for a peaceful month filled with love and prayers xx

Melody

2008-08-25T01:16:00.002+04:00

Sweet dreams for a very starry night...
For the insomniacs who are awake for whatever reason...a soothing lullaby to calm your senses and let your thoughts take you to your late night place xx

Reflections

2008-08-18T15:08:00.007+04:00

This movie always makes me smile...and this song is just old school happiness for me.

My utterly favourite thing about life is that you'll never know what tomorrow brings.
Once in a while you come across a mirror held to your face when you least expect it and allows you look back into a reflection of who you see with lost forgotten remnants of who you used to be...
Once in a while something comes along that inspires you in more ways than one...centers you and lets you just be..
Although I've been busy with calls at work which is why I havent updated in a while, floating is how I would describe myself these last couple of weeks...in a fast paced world where everything happens in a blink of an eye...where so much of us live for ourselves...a breath of fresh air blows through that takes you back to a slower time, another you...and all of a sudden I realized what the problem was...Just like that, I had simply forgotten.
I forgot how to really pay attention to others...I forgot how to focus on all the positive blessings in my life...I forgot how to empathize and how to not make it all about me...I forgot that sometimes being in control is not always a good thing...a little flexibility goes a long way...and I forgot above everything that in genuine people true humility shines through creating a stronger presence than I could ever have imagined.
Im ecstatic and thankful at the same time for the reminder...I thought nothing could surprise me by now but Im constantly surprised, and in a really good way...Sometimes when you least expect it...a sudden bend in the road brings back beautiful memories of goodness and happiness and optimism....relishes us to suddenly be inspired and motivated once more and comforts us with the knowledge that honestly...no matter what we are going through...everything really will be alright.

So heres to the bubbly twists and turns of life that take us to better places..I wish you all well xx

Take A Walk To The Dark Side

2008-08-02T18:14:00.012+04:00

I love the dark side, maybe thats why I get a kick out of fall/winter every year...days reduce to a few hours and nights stretch languidly across the world...fashion is free spirited, inspired by darkness, not bound by weather or practicality...I can layer on as much as I want or walk around in strappy heels happily...either way...textures are richer...colours smoulder...and the world is suddenly grown up and glamorous after the carefree frolic of a summer gone by.
Ive been inspired by quite a few things recently in putting together my key pieces for the upcoming season....old Hollywood glamour is paid homage to by designers all across the runways...in an act of rebellion towards the recession and credit crunch hitting the world, the creative world has decided to proact by behaving as one treats a tiresome child..not batting an eye and being in an oblivion to the persistant political insurgent angst that has been going on in the world over the past couple of years casting a depressing shadow over the stratosphere...and rightly so.
The majority of us need a creative outlet to vent and express our dissatisfaction at the daily mundane things we face and I believe most women would rather be damned than allow that to affect their sense of aesthetic.
The fashion world has always been affected by politics, recently since the begining of last century when most ateliers had to close down during the world war only to give rise afterwards to a new kind of fashion...haute couture was replaced by the swinging sixties and psychedelic flower children that emerged from the opposition of the vietnam war at the time and a new ode to peace, with the begining of the sexual revolution that lead to the rock and roll era of the 70's that brimmed with Andy Warhols and Led Zepplins, fashion ventured in a new direction wrapped up in an international glamour and sophistication like one wraps a plush mink around herself, denoted and modelled by women of the Studio 54 era, including the usually straightlaced Jacqueline Kennedy.
I feel this time around, history repeats itself...I look at the plushness of textures, Halstons liquid silk jersey fabrics and Lanvins decadence. Sensuous colours...jet black reigns once more (to my utmost glee) igniting a dark romance in the air, majestic deep purples, neutrals of grey...cream and coffee with splashes of teal, turquoise and bold reds. Sillhouettes and cuts appealing to different women...biased cuts and drapes over the body in casual nonchalance, or wide legged pants and form fitting tops with lots of belts and chunky jewellery...sometimes resistance gives way to creative genius.

Makeup goes uberglam as well with Lancome releasing their first vibrating mascara wand Oscillation (Im a bit dubious about this one) and Chanel sending out the most delicious smoky eye makeup range to add sultriness to the combination.

Until then do something utterly decadent tonight..Im going to light me some gardenia candles..play Adele's 'Fool that I am' on repeat and send a glass of pink bubbly wishes your way.

Sleep tight xx

Sweet Dreams

2008-07-30T09:45:00.012+04:00

I finally managed to drag myself out of bed after a long and really quiet night at the hospital...its really funny being on call because youre always alert and expecting something or the other to happen and sometimes it'll be one of those nights where nothing goes other than the occasional small happenings that as a physician you'll just have to face...I go to my room and pass out only to hear the phone shrill in my ear with the nurses' equally annoying high pitched voice telling me that a patient is having a tantrum and threatening to go downstairs to the ER if a doctor wont see him...his problem? Hes a minor surgical case with a psychiatric history and wants morphine..at 3:00 a.m

I refuse and tell her instead to give him a good shot of a painkiller and to encourage him to sleep.

4:30 a.m, the delightful phone shrieks again and the same patient insists the shot was useless. I up the dose with one more shot after sleepily considering his body weight and request her to tell him that maybe if he stopped pacing down the corridors and relaxed he could get some much needed shut eye.

5:15 a.m, I just managed to go into the begining of a dreamless sleep when I hear the phone once more ringing vibrating and blinking frantically lighting up the whole ceiling and in turn waking me...I pick up.."Doctor he wants morphine."

Honestly there was only one way to ease this guy out of his insistent mental state...medically and surgically he was perfectly stable...he'd been marching up and down the corridors all day for the past 14 hours with talk of being bored with nothing to do..."Nurse please give him some lexotanil 1.5mg and let him rest"

"We dont have that in stock here right now can you come down here and write an order for the inpatient pharmacist?"

I pause...the thought of getting up, changing back into my since-6:30 a.m-day-worn clothes and squeezing my aching feet back into my shoes to stumble halfway across the hospital, made me cringe...it didnt help as I suddenly recalled that Id have to get up earlier to run down to my car and pick up my change of clothes in the morning before the meeting.

I decided to forgo both.

"Sister what do you have?"

"Valium"

Bleh.

"I prefer xanax .25 or.5mg"

"Sorry doctor we dont have either"... No can do.

I sighed.

"Valium it is, Sister..2mg"

"Sorry again doctor we only have 5mg up here"

"God anything,anything Sister"...anything to knock him out and me out of my misery.

6:50 a.m, Im standing with the other residents in a total daze...racoon eyes...brain dead and feet in sheer agony from being in my flats all day...I dream of bubble baths and fresh sheets.

10:34 a.m, Im at home and I.just.cant.sleep...I resign myself to the fact that it'll happen tonight.

The bright side? Its gonna be a loong weekend...my face breaks into a smile and I ask for some coffee.

Might as well enjoy it from now.

Ephemeral and Jolie

2008-07-26T11:46:00.008+04:00

Words cant say enough for how I felt after watching this.
I was asked in a tag once what my definition of a woman is and I replied with Strength.
To the women before us and to those today mothers,daughters,sisters around the world with the strength to face lifes challenges...the strength to dream...the strength to face their demons...the strength to pave their own way with their own belief system and to always making sure they looked good while doing it : )

This is part one of the 5 part interview a series of pics will pop up at the end of each at the bottom of the screen find and click on part 2,3 etc of Inside actors studio

Ephemeral I commented on your last comment at the last post..a penny for your thoughts x
Have a good Saturday peoplesss xx

Weekend Bliss

2008-07-20T17:40:00.011+04:00

"Because I am a bad girl, people always automatically think that I am a bad girl, or that I carry a dark secret with me or that I'm obsessed with death. The truth is that I am probably the least morbid person one can meet. If I think more about death than some other people, it is probably because I love life more than they do."

Angelina Jolie

Unfortunately last weekend hit a glitch due to family schedule mix ups and an on call at work...I spent the whole week slaving away determined to definitely have the weekend I planned and finally on Thursday I packed, set my music and went to Dubai.
It was absolutely and utterly relaxing...Spent the first night at the Buddha Bar for dinner followed by a decadently dreamy sleep catching up on a much needed snoozefest...following morning breakfast at the Grosvenor house for the yummiest oatmeal berries and honey with double chocolate milk making my sister chuckle at my eight year old sudden whim...
Headed off to watch Wanted and god it was so worth it...Not since Gia released in 1998 have I been moved by a performance by Angelina...she looked absolutely breathtaking and the glow on her face, the strength she exuded comes from the past rollercoaster year of her mother dying and the support of finding an inner place of peace with Brad pitt and her children...I admired her in Gia because as an actress she shed her inhibitions and worked professionally and challengingly for a very graphically raw true account of the story of Gia Carangi that hit very close to home for her...and she made the movie compelling...she delivered a portrayal of brilliance.. performance with shellshocking honesty...alot of other actresses wouldnt be able to pull off what she did.
Maybe thats one of the many things I love about her...Shes a rebel that doesnt aplogize for who she is and yet she cares so much for the world...Shes the UN's High Commissioner for Refugees Emissary..I loved her book 'Notes on my travels'...when you look into her eyes you'll see stories that won't ever be told...cementing my personal philosophy...leave everything to the imagination...She was very open about her sexuality and now with time has a very je ne sais quoi air about her making most people look at her with a mixture of fascination, intimidation and awe...a strange combination reflecting how most are not comfortable in their own skin..as humans its such a shame to deny or not acknowledge what we possess.
I followed up the movie with the most blisssssssssful treatment at my favourite spa Sensasia and as the masseur worked on my tension with soft scrubs and milk and frangapani oils...I slipped away into a deep slumber to wake up feeling like I was literally walking on air...the rest of the weekend passed by just as decadently and I made my pilgrimage to Harvey nics to stock up on my Kiehls essentials..Philip B's white truffle hair treatments and a look at my favourite corner...stunning Lanvin.

I leave you with the Gia trailer and kisses for a starry night xx

The Weakness In Me

2008-07-10T14:49:00.007+04:00

I spent my birthday yesterday in the O.R working on seven operations back to back..as exhilarating as the O.R is for me,I still wanted to party lol.Midnight started with text and phone calls internationally from some of my closest dearest friends..some that I havent been in touch with in a while..all the way throughout and to the end of the day...every call made my day because as much as I lack a social life here I realized that real friends appreciate you and the good days you give each other..it put me in a happy place and yes lol I will party by treating myself to a gorgeous weekend getaway to Dubai...spa treatments..lots of laughter..and overindulgence because like I said before, all I want for now is excess relaxation and bliss.

You know how Oprah feels that she gets bummed when she can't find new books...its like that with me except my passion is different...Ive been bummed because I couldnt find good music and today I want to share with you a really beautiful song...no a stunning track that I came across yesterday..it was the cherry on the cake of a really loving day.

So heres to you my bubblylicious readers...a glass of bubblywishes filled with hope and dreams and all things new...a toast to the ones we love and the ones we have yet to love...and more than anything to another year of fabulous spontaneity and adventure...xx

Couture

2008-07-04T10:58:00.002+04:00

Armani Prive

Anne Valerie Hash

Valentino

Lacroix

Valentino

Burberrys warrior bag

Chanel

With the fall/winter collections coming out, despite the burning July heat Im already putting together my winter wardrobe for my favourite time of year...Im really loving totes this coming season and I already got a hold of the cream Burberry metallic studded tote which is stunning in real life..the blue Chanel tote is a total lust-have and its going to replace everything except clutches next season for me.
The Couture shows were real eye candy and fun to skim through...Im in love with Christian Lacroix's collection its absolute genius and I found myself lost in the whimsical shapes...contrasting textures and eccentrically artistic palettes of colours that span different eras of time.
New designer at the helm of Valentino, Allesandra Facchinetti pulled off a very whispery and ethereal collection with plenty of chiffon, nudes and black...I cant wait to see her upcoming collections.

I have loads more pics to post of looks Ive pulled from the ready to wear lines but Im exhausted its been a verrrry hectic time so far...thank god for the other extreme in my life...fashion...its a creative art that gladly envelopes me in its arms after I get tired of all the academic and realistic aspects of my life...its so soothing to switch back into 'me' mode and feel like a girl...After all my hard work I just want excess everything...relaxation...luxurious pleasures...zenlike calmness....Im in the mood to just spoil myself silly and I think thats the nicest thing about being self posessed...its all about you.

Have a good fourth of July peopless xx

Tagged!

2008-06-19T19:32:00.009+04:00

Tagged by: Fastidious Babe
I will always wear: Black
I will never wear: Animal prints
My bad-clothes-day advice: Don't step out of the house if you're looking less than cuteness.
I Know I look great when: I smile.
Smart travel tip: Im like Fastidious in this one...my cardinal rules...Travel light and moisturize
To me summer means: The world is one big party for three months.

To Fastidious...Cyberspace would be a really boring place without you.

Hard Candy

2008-06-15T23:19:00.001+04:00

http://www.musicvideocast.com/2008/06/madonna-give-it-2-me-music-video.html

Inspirational and relentless in her quest to push boundaries and defy convention, she's proved herself to be an example to all of us however we choose to lead our lives, of what its like to have a will to live rather than simply exist...and this new album is nothing less than classic Madonna style to charter into new waters...with an urban beat and a hiphop club vibe to it, its a different direction from the polished techno trancey previous Confessions album and a long way from the cheeky playful girl that called everyone out over 20 years ago to take a Holiday.

I love 'Give it to me' with a video directed by fashion photographer Tom Munro, which reminds me of an ode to the superglam 70's era at Studio 54..with its catchy beat and delicious lyrics, Im in the mood to let my hair down and lose myself in the rhythm grooving to the beat...Enjoy the link above

'Miles Away'...'Shes not me'...'beat goes on'...'Devil wouldn't recognize you'...'Voices' are on repeat in my player...lol actually the whole album is perfect for summer.

Someone To Watch Over Me

2008-06-13T22:14:00.011+04:00

I love the postman :)

It started off as the worst morning ever...one that I havent had in a while...even the arrival of my new louby's and fave beauty stash couldn't distract me, I still found myself absolutely devastated...midday in the midst of my darkened mood my eye caught the calender and I almost sighed with relief at the fact that I could have a lame excuse to pin my deeply buried sorrows, had I not been in a serious oblivion of blues..

Despite the fact that Im not superstitious, I'd like to believe that what happened today was due to an unlucky coincidence with time...maybe repressing so much is really not a good thing...sometimes thats the price one has to pay for being so in touch with so much...Ive come to the firm realization that ignorance really can be bliss.

Like a dark looming cloud it sailed away, thanks in all part to to the bestest presence in my life who keeps making everything okay when I feel like nothing can be alright again...Noone can stick around the way you do and noone can deal with my temporary bouts of insanity with such dignified assertiveness and compassion as youve shown..If I havent been blessed with ignorance, Ive definitely been blessed with you xx

Its almost midnight and the better part of the evening definitely brightened up...Im going to sign off with a toasting ritual from Fastidious Babe.

To the people in our lives who keep us grounded and remind us to smile

Have a starry night xoxo

Readers requests

2008-06-11T13:05:00.007+04:00

I got a question the other night from one of my bubblylicious readers asking me about her skincare concerns..I promised to to post in my next entry.

"spots. blackheads. and when your face doesnt have that glow. i hate putting make up on. i just hate seeing my face look so dull."

It sounds like you have combination skin...the breakouts, and the 'dullness' is a result of dryness and lack of exfoliation...The natural skin cycle where new cells come up to the surface and older ones are shed off naturally takes about 22 days...as we get older this cycle takes longer with cells rising to the surface and clumping up on your skin..it doesnt help moisturizer penetrate your skin and the clumps reflect the light rays haphazardly to give a dull looking appearance...oil and bacteria are trapped under the skin and give you blemishes...the blackheads are a result of oil and dead skin cells clogged in the pore itself which when exposed to air oxidize to produce the dark colour you see.
To help facilitate the process you need to regularly polish your skin yourself with a scrub suited for your skin type twice a week or have sessions of microdermabrasion at a skin clinic.
I recommend you start with a gentle babysoft cleanser twice a day so you wont irritate your skin...Dermalogica ultracalming cleanser...Natura Bisse cleanser for sensitive skin...Cle De Peau fraiche (found at Faces is delicious and I think will work really well for you) and the gold standard Cetaphil (found at most drugstores).
During the day apply a light oil free moisturizer and at night youll need something that can internally work to exfoliate...I literally swear by Chanels microsolutions ampoules...21 small ampoules for 21 days applied at night containing 10% Glycolic acid work gently on your skin without redness peeling or irritation..you can follow that up with the same moisurizer you used in the morning...Hydramax gel cream works well in tandem with any kind of blemish treatment and wont interfere in the treatment.
Keep a bottle of Mario Badescu drying lotion at hand (found in Areej) to put on new spots at night...they clear up quickly in 2-3 days with this...or dot some Clinique emergency masque on problem areas and let it dry out blemishes while you snooze.
Depending on how bad the breakouts are you could go to a derm and ask for Minocin antibiotic tabs for 1-3 months as well as having a full blood workup to check on hormone levels that are strongly linked to acne.
As for makeup steer clear of any foundation this summer..its not going to help you...if you need cover try Clarins Teint Souffle its gorgeous..or mineral foundation Barescentuals does a great job, found at Sephora.
Keep your makeup brushes regularly clean..change your pillow cases daily and keep hair and hands off your face.
Try this for 21 days and we can move on to the next step when youre done..the key is you jut have to be patient.
Keep me posted.

To the Anonymous music request...I posted lots of my fave tracks on youtube videos before I installed my player you can look through those and heres a quickie list of my own according to my mood today

A.M:
Miles away-Madonna
Devil wouldnt recognize you-Madonna
Voices-Madonna

Afternoon:
Let me think about it-Ida Corr (I blast this on my way out of the hospital after a long day on my feet)
Im that chick-Mariah Carey
Heartbreaker-will.i.am

Early evening:
Paris lounge-Llorca
Seemingly sleepy-late night alumni
Cant get enough of your love-Barry white (ultimate feel good happy song)
Tell me what you want-Mase feat.Total
Close to you-Maxi Priest ( 20 years on and Im still in love with the beat theres nothing sexier than this)
The mating game-Bittersweet

Bedtime:
More than ever people-Levitation
Ride it-Jay sean
Anything by Sade

Eccentricities

2008-06-10T23:59:00.001+04:00

1. I love to eat dessert before dinner.

2. I pour Tabasco Habanero sauce on almost everything.

3. As sexist as this sounds my morning drives to work...and to the mall...in fact anywhere, have grounded my firm belief that women drivers are insane..theyre best left to chauffeurs.

4.I love to drop random scandalous comments in the middle of a conversation for the kick of the shock value :)

5.When Im bored I amuse myself internally by studying people intently and discover things that the person in front of me wouldn't want me to know.

6.I have morning music, afternoon music, evening music and late night tunes all divided into those categories and Ill play those tracks according to my mood.

Im a hippie at heart.

Love you lots Nyxxie...get out of the boardroom!
Kytheria...have a good one x
xxx

Everyday is a weekend

2008-06-08T12:43:00.013+04:00

The season officially starts....Bust out the bikinis and the gorgeous cover ups...don on the grecian sandals and make sure your ipods list is full of pumping summer tunes...Hang on, we forgot something important...summertimes slew of skin concerns...the right SPF...the perfect moisturizer...shine control and the eternal question...how to keep summer hair silky smooth at the beach and outdoors...Well worry not, Bubbly's here to the rescue with some of the most wondrous discoveries and advice for my favorite bubblylicious readers.

CHANELS HYDRAMAX
For the past few years Ive been a loyal of Chanel's Hydramax and whomever I have recommended it to has led to a cult following...simply because it works...
The delicious scent...the continuous moisture all day and all night and now they've launched a newer version...Hydramax Active which means an even better result for your skin.
Although it comes in three different textures I recommend the Cream Gel for summer...you can do what I did and switch to Cream for winter...thats so lushhhhhhh....there's also a tinted moisturizer for days at the beach or simply at work...I mean who wants to hit work in the morning with foundation in the summer?

CREME DE LA MER
After all of my loyalty to Hydramax which was a part of my secret to my flawless skin, lol the rest is genetics...I realized that I needed something more than moisture for me...I wanted a simple moisturizer for sensitive skin that works as an anti-aging product too (prevention is better than cure)...although there are a hundred million claims from different luxury brands, with my beauty savvy I knew which one I had to channel for myself personally...and so I headed to the beauty counter bought the items and went home to test run it through my standard 8 vigorous weeks of testing...and Im happy to report my skin thanked me by revealing dewy fresh baby softness...Im hooked for life!
I love the La Mer Gel Creme formulation and the fantastic Face Mist that is perfect for trips to the beach to boost moisture levels or even a spray indoors at home or work to combat drying effects of the airconditioning system.
The Refining Facial is divinityyyyy....its the perfect exfoliator with real diamond dust that glide so softly on your kin to reveal a fresher you.
Oil control throughout the day? No problem Creme de la mer's Oil Absorbing Lotion nixxes shine beautifully.

SPF AND TANNERS

Clarins UV PLUS SPF 40 merged wth e3p their antipollution screen tp produce divinity results...goes on as light as air on your face and leaves no greasy residue.
For the body I love Neutrogena SPF 85 drytouch and it comes in a cooling version spray for serious coverage of hard to reach areas....cool your skin later with an aloe vera spray and a milk bath and dont forget to carry Clarins SOS sunburning relief stick and balm.
Self tanners are Fake Bake....ModelCo and the gold standard St Tropez.
For the fairer paler ones like me Ive found the most delicious products formulated especially for pale skin...lol finalyyyyyy...Clarins delicious self tanning cream...and Cliniques touch of bronze.
Dont forget to scrub and moisturize with Kiehls Soy body polish and Creme De Corp in Light before applying.

BEACHY HAIR

Kerastase has the cutest soleil range to protect your hair from sun chlorine in the pool and damage...and an overnight product to work on your tresses to transform them into silk by morning
Im loving Frederic Fekkai's Lavender and Honey conditioner to soothe dry scalps and the Shea Butter Shampoo and Mask post beach exposure.
Wrap your hair in a silk scarf to protect it from the suns rays...crucial for those with coloured hair...I love Pucci and Missoni for their fresh bursts of colour.

MAKEUP

The look this summer is ultra glam....dab on some a soft lipbalm or Chanels aqualumiere lipshine...the texture made me melt its stunning...Guerlains range this season is divine...swirl a brush over their terracotta moisturizing powder or spray with their bronze spray in three colours light medium and dark for different intensities..then add a light tint to your cheeks,,,Benefits Poisie is like their cult Benetint except
its a fresh pink...or go for the Nars stick in orgasm.
Keep your nails with fresh colours...I discovered Chanel in Cassis and Cherry

Now that your armed and fabulous dont forget to put on your sexy oversized shades on your way out, theyre useful in more ways than one ;)
Bubblywishes to a sexy fantabulous uninhibited summer...go knock yourselves out!

Interlude

2008-06-04T12:39:00.003+04:00

Theres a moment of peace. A moment of stillness that washes over me. In that place in time I feel the nanoseconds stretch into an eternity...all that Ive ever known and all that could ever occur, come together to wake me up from my trancelike state of realism.

I never dreamed of it...It definitely catches me off guard...Through my eyes if I could define it,life is in moments.
Through the silence I expect to feel nothing...its who I am...
I stood and the quietness screamed back at me, deafening me with ambivalence...mixed emotions and only one voice in my head resonating within me...my voice breaking free of my self imposed restrictions to tell me what I already know.
Even after all, here...Im glad that detachment and reality failed to function.
Its good to feel.

Stellar constellation

2008-05-18T22:52:00.008+04:00

The twilight dusk submerges into the protective arms of nightfall...the sky surrounds the city in a blanket of lush comfort...Saturn burns brightly in the distance, twinkling like an elusive memory whilst its neighbouring stars nestled in black velvet cloak folds look on and glimmer in turn like a pedestrian crossing...
The smell of the summer heat drifts into a deep slumber awakening with the sun the next morning to once again watch the world rise and rush off to their frantic daily morning rituals...For thousands of years...through life and man...the rise and fall of empires...the history of the universe...one thing has remained constant...the moon and the stars preordained to watch over the world...could they talk they would have a million tales to tell.
In my childhood the sky was a constant source of fascination...Id hang upside down from swings and look up at the fluffy clouds sailing happily away and make out faces in the folds of white and grey...with every swing Id stretch out my hand believing I could touch the sky and when I just couldnt make it Id think logically to myself that I needed to grow taller...
As a young woman during my exam times in college, Id leave my books beside the fireplace to take a breather and step out into the balcony to be greeted by the cold fresh night air in the midst of winter...Id throw my head back and through the misty skies Id watch the clouds part to reveal the twinkling skies...a hundred incandescent stars that glittered furiously so close to me Id once again feel that familiar urge of reaching out to catch one...and as I searched for the random off-chance of finding a shooting star to wish on for my examination paper the moon looked down on me...she floated perfectly in the centre of the world like a maestro orchestrating a thousand and one nights of whimsical symphonies in her perfect stillness.
According to the centuries age old cycle..every season a butterfly has to break free of her cocoon and spread her wings...here I am once more going through another metamorphosis...happily engaging in a new place to sojourn...thought time would douse my fires of idealism with a healthy dose of cynicism...Didn't you know me better?

I sit here tonight with another tale for the sky to collect...as I write a smile tugs at the corner of my mouth..I wish I could articulate...for another time...because that is an entirely different story...Sweet dreams xx

Wanderlust and Balmy Weather

2008-05-10T00:02:00.008+04:00

Although we're in May, judging by the weather here its officially summer..five more months to go until I take my annual winter vacation for two months and jet off to the sexier parts of the world...why do I love travelling in winter? I get to experience a country in its natural state of habitat...no huge influx of tourists...no congested airports...no insanity at the boutique counters...streets with the local population walking around who can actually give you directions...and the best part...the fall/winter wardrobe with no heat to mess up your hair and skin...just gorgeous breezy days and chilly nights experiencing the splendor of a city in all its glory.
As for summer here the good thing is I get to make it to work on time with no crazy rush hour in the mornings so I sleep in an extra 15 min :D..Balmy evenings so far, relaxing to a good tune and a good book...most patients are away on summer holidays so the extra time allows me to delve into hobbies and new things especially as my new year resolutions this year was not to make any...I find myself interested in fun light things...Im taking up French officially finallyyyyyy and my tutor is supposed to come over and study with me for a year so Im really looking forward to that...my gym sessions will kick off seriously to keep myself healthy and I have yet to compile this years summer reading list..a tradition since high school that I enjoy although I do have a couple of books that Im supposed to get into soon..
I have yet to find a weekend hangout that I can laze around in while working on a tan...Im open to any good suggestions...AD still needs to branch into summer leisure time..but so far so good...it looks like its going to be a quiet peaceful one.
This summer will definitely be a spa one...The Iwona Spa in Dubai has the infamous oxygen facials that Madonna swears by..and my personal favourite Sensasia spa will be opening their new branch in the Palm very soon..they have the most delicious treatments...theres more that I plan on visiting on the weekends and I will update with reviews..In AD the Antara spa in Emirates palace comes highly recommended...I have yet to pay them a visit and check out their spa menu...good fun.
Arcona beauty http://www.arcona.com/ a long kept secret of Hollywood who owe their fresh dewy complexions to it, has opened its doors to the world and given access to all the girlies out there by selling their products as well as adverstising themselves...they use the most natural effective ingredients produced under cold temperatures to preserve the vitamens contained...the enzyme peel treatments sound so utterly divine I cant wait to try them when I go there.
Yippy Skippy! I went from being a total techno blonde who couldnt upload pics to posting my very own mini ipod here...in honour of my technosavviness lmao Im dedicating this track to you..Heres a toast of bubbly cheers to summer nights and lazy days.

Sweet dreams xxx

Tag youre it

2008-05-06T21:35:00.008+04:00

So Nyxxie decided to tag me...I have to answer some of her questions and yay theyre all beauty related...the best part of it is that updating has been at the back of my mind for the past couple of days but I couldnt get around to it with my laziness...the heatstroke I almost passed out from yesterday and mmmmn well nothing except patients and yada yada yadaaaaaaaa.
Yippy skippy this will suffice until my next update..lotssss of beauty news in it.
Nyxxie *hugs*

The contents of my makeup bag are :
Guerlains Beige Vanille gloss
Bobbi Browns pressed compact in Sand
Chanel rose petale blush

My Favorite Makeup Product is:
I'm so old school...Coco did say that a woman must always be prepared (actually dressed) in case she has a date with destiny...in my case I have to be ready to bat my eyelashes at destiny lmao so it's mascara and lol no I cant choose just one...too many options :D

My perfume:

Something soft and mysterious...I love Lanvin Arpege...Tom Ford's Black Violet...Nyxxie got me hooked onto Amouage Dia since last ramadan its my replacement for No.5 and me loves me loads of Chanel's 31 Rue Cambon.

My Ultimate Dream:

Making all the other dreams come true.

How do I define womanhood:
Strength.

Woman I admire for her beauty:

My grandmother.

My beauty product brand is:

light and gentle for my super sensitive skin...it varies alot with the weather and skin changes...I tend to stick to the same moisturizer throughout the year (Chanel's Hydramax) and add a night potion or switch a cleanser according to my skins needs.

Day cream:

Currently am on La Mer's gel cream.

Essential beauty product:

Chanel's advanced microrefining peel program.

Three products(besides solar) to bring on a deserted island:

Cleanser.

Body moisturizer

Shampoo/conditioner (Ill assume kerastase produces a two in one just for the occasion by then :D)

Pierce Brosnan.

Woman with the best sense of style:

Im inspired by the classics and I love to keep a modern fresh twist on things..Audrey Hepburn is timeless.

My favourite fashion publication:

Vogue

Allure

Elle

*Hugs* Nyxxie xoxoxo

I tag Fastidious babe :D

The Way We were

2008-04-29T17:49:00.013+04:00

"I'll look around

And when I've found someone

Who laughs like you

I'll know this love

I'm dreaming of

Won't be the old love

I always knew"

Madeline Peyroux

I dont exactly recall what brought up this movie into my mind today...maybe the song lyrics above as I was calmly driving along the beach front on my way back home from a gorgeously packed day at work....maybe the emotional simple depth of her voice saying things that in a good deal of time haven't touched my soul,with the added background music intoxicating me into relaxation...either way it took me back to a long time ago..to when I saw the movie 'The way we were' years ago and oh...I fell in love with the story..without giving the story line away the song and movie are entwined in a beautifully poetic way even though they were made in different generation...nothing gives me a sense of security like nostalgia...its always special to look back in time and remember all the different things that moved you...made you smile and gave you things to reflect on....honestly sometimes its the best escape into the recesses of your mind from a world we just dont want to deal with at times.

Barbara Streisand need I say more? One of the worlds most timless legends...her movies...her music...her strong personality...shes very notorious for being a force to be reckoned with in the industry and at every concert the woman gets a well deserved longstanding ovation and passionate screams of an encore for her sheer artistry...honestly who can blame them...I wish they made music the way they used to these days.

Its struck me during the movie how insightful the human psyche is...After all these years you can still see a similarity between what the characters were facing and what we face today...the director did a beautiful job with his insight...Robert Redford is dreamy and plays his part in such a way that as the story unfolds you begin to be swept away with realistic storyline and empathize with the both of them to give you something to think about...you percieve an unbiased balanced point of view of the complexities of life and relationships...the message it leaves you with is powerful and keeps you reflecting long after its over...its a timeless masterpiece of cinematic history.

Heres the beautiful song from the equally touching movie...I added a movie clip for you to enjoy...who knows...maybe it will awaken a part of you that you thought didnt exist with all the mainstream commercial noise going around these days. Here are a couple of extra songs to chill you out before you go to 'The way we were' videos.

Dance me to the end of love and Ill look around...knock yourselves out :)

http://www.madeleinepeyroux.com/flash_content/main.html

Hugs to you sexy peoplessss xxx

Frolick in the sand or lounge on a yacht :)

2008-04-25T17:04:00.023+04:00

I finally found the beach items I needed to make this a perfect season..now heres the hard part you decide...Rose or Violet?

Wouldnt be PinkChampagne without my champagne wardrobe lol

Gorgeous silk top and pants with my trusty Pedros <3>
Aaaah The bane of my existance...Ive been looking for this shade of red since forever every season

Lets hope this year I can add to my collection

Summer is finally here! well almost :)
For me that means carefree days...great music and lazy afternoons getting together with friends ignoring responsibilities and deep issues..although with the humidity its not fun weather in this place but hey,...its all worth it...this season has gorgeous S/S 08 wardrobes that Ive been loving delving into and Ive been skipping to work with thoughts of new additions to my new summer wardrobe...God its great to be a girl :D
So much has been happening over time on both a personal and profession level.
With the heat slowly seeping into the city alternating with the occasional warm breeze I feel the urge to begin a new chapter of my life...stepping out of my comfort zone and trying new sssexy things...maybe that pilots licence Ive lusted over since forever...continuation with My French tutor at home to perfect the ultimate language of sultriness or finally get that gorgeous honey dipped golden tan that Ive always wanted :)
My annual time off work is this winter as usual where I get to spend 9 glorious weeks traveling to fun places...My first option is New York followed by Boston Cali and DC and last but not least a stopover in london or Paris or maybe the gorgeous Italian islands of Portofino and Scicily...maybe Rome...who cares...the world is our oyster...so much time and so little to do...but this time after settling at work and having my consultants happy with me being on top of my work I feel that its time for a new revamped moi...Every now and then I morph into a better more adventurous version of another me and never look back.
The best thing about summer is that I unfailingly begin my high school ritual of compiling my summer reading list (any suggestions would be welcomed xx) and of course who can forget Sex and the City the movie...I picked up 27 dresses after work right now and Im glad I have time to enjoy this weekend chilling out with a lighthearted comedy.
I think with every season and every age it's always good to set something to look forward to....it prevents life from getting bland especially with the whole new world we live in to discover...After all the phases and lives Ive lived...I feel that Ive only scratched the surface...I look forward to all that life has to offer be it good or bad...because at the end of the day the even the bad leaves you with lessons you will never forget to enrich the spirit...depending on how you look at it :)
I think the problem with our generation is that we want too much too fast...looking back at the most successful people in the world who have left a legacy or a mark...the key to their success was determination, faith and patience...Im pretty laid back because I believe in the goodness of the world...karma...and I believe in myself and my potential...for me its not about success rather more than about reaching goals and being really happy with the sense of achievement of making my dreams come true.
For now its baby steps...Ive done that my whole life and Im really glad of where I stand today...I think the best advice I could ever give is live your life like you have nothing to lose..immerse yourself in it..make your mistakes and stay true to yourself...last but not least don't give a damn what other people think..either theyre too scared to follow their own dreams...afraid to non conform or are just plain judgmental which is really sad...Raise the bar and rather than talk about it represent yourself with your actions and if you screw up..youre human..theres always tomorrow to set things right...we have a responsibility to inspire each other and the generations after us, the same way our older generations inspired us with their wisdom...but always always do it with a twist because life has a sense of humour...inject your personality in everything you do and you will never fail...not succeeding doesn't mean you failed if you had enough courage to follow your deepest wishes.

On a lighter note...Ive been having a blast of a time...thats for another entry...for now I leave you with my favourite part of my entries...a couple of my favourite childhood carefree songs to kickstart your weekend

Lots of love and bubbly hugs
xx
PC

M.D

2008-04-15T13:44:00.018+04:00

Ive been inspired by many people growing up...when applying for college I'd come across the question 'Who is your role model?' countless times and it always made me think to myself...I have none.

I appreciate the different facets that make up different personalities...I love all sorts of unique and quirky traits...and Ive always admired specific qualitites to the vast majority of people that have touched my life...to label someone a role model would be to put them on a pedestal to only realize after much adulation that they are after all only human...thus explaining my point that we are so interesting and complex...the many layers that make us up are too deep to limit to only one person...and my goal has always been to produce a better version of myself with each passing day and with every phase now and then I look at how Ive morphed and what my ideal ways of reaching my own finish line are before competing against myself to finally put a tick next to my new accomplishment be it personal or professional.

The medical field has always been academic and clinical...Physicians are trained to focus on that and have a sense of responsibility and detachment to the point where Im surrounded by excellent doctors hospitals over who have lost their lives in the world of their own passion treating diseases and ailments and accomplishing their own sense of satisfaction with every successful procedure or degree attained...but yet are out of touch with their private selves and personal lives.

As a woman with her own sense of self possession I realize that yes I love my profession to bits and I have lots to look forward to in terms of achieving with the coming years, but I have a deep rooted sense of being a woman that I believe is wholly crucial in maintaining a sense of identity...femininity is after all what separates us from the boys...and the fun that Ive had in this life being a girl I would do all over again if I had to...Im not a feminist in any way and Ive never believed in equal rights...as girlish creatures of the complex land we are bestowed with rights by just staying true to who we are and what we want out of life.

Whilst watching the primaries a while ago I noticed Hillary Clintons ratings drop in favour of Barack Obama..At one point infamous and highly esteemed fashion maven Anna Wintour invited Hilary for the highly coveted cover of a Vogue photoshoot...Latin sensation Jennifer Lopez has never been invited for one, but Hilary got the chance to empower females across the country and the power of fashion media to send her message across the entire world...Diana did it...Jacqueline Kennedy embraced it...Hillary Clinton?

Refused.

She was afraid she would have subjected herself to ridicule and barbie jokes across Capitol Hill and the rest of the States...by running like a man she was denying herself the truth of who she actually was and rather than stay true to herself and unapologetically embrace it she avoided the obvious and who can trust that? Ratings dropped everywhere.

Imagine my delight when I discovered Lisa Airan a couple of years ago.

Dr Lisa Airan is one of Manhattan's most prominent cosmetic dermatologists...after Oprah she became a world renowned one and has an impressive resume to match.

Not just a pretty face she has combined her love of aesthetics with her flair of fashion to create a blend of medicine and femininity...the results? Gorgeousness.

Dr Airan epitomizes everything I celebrate and respect in a woman...her face has graced the pages of Vogue many times and it seems that she just cant stop working and having a blast whilst shes doing it...if that doesnt inspire then I do not know what will..for now all I can say is I cant wait to meet her this summer hopefully because she's the only person in this world whom I can trust with my skin...That is until I get my own degree.

The mating game

2008-04-12T22:36:00.002+04:00

I couldnt not post this week =D...lots of work and a million things to do...Ill update soon sometime midweek...left you all with an ultimate favourite track to enjoy...sleep tight.
Hugs xx

E=MC2

2008-03-31T17:29:00.022+04:00

Back in 92 when I was 12 I heard a track called 'Cant let go' followed by 'I dont wanna cry'...for the next few minutes I was completely entraced...they were a gorgeous beautiful melancholic pieces of work that spoke out to me in the voice...Id never heard anything like that..It was the 90's after all and we had the begining of R&B and some of the greatest songs ever produced in that era...but there was something about this woman that touched me...in 1995 her album Daydream was my album of the year and my favourite track was 'underneath the stars' a poetic portrayal of the innocence of first love and the purity of succumbing to a power that overwhelms and hypnotizes you to another realm of existance...where nothing in this world could ever matter.

I love her because she was with me all the way from 12 to 27...her music and girly life have inspired me...gave me an outlet when I needed it and I have some of the best memories of my life to alot of her albums...they take me to different times and different places.

I was fortunate to meet her twice in 2002 once in a concert and the next day I met her in person...shes got gorgeous flawless skin and is incredibly sweet...I framed her autograph and its one of my favourite memories in the world.

Shes truly one of the bestselling artists of our time not only because of her voice but because she writes her own lyrics herself on each and every song...and theyre deep...theyre utterly romantic...and they take you away..

The song above is from her new album and the songs Im posting below are the favourites I love and wanted to share with you...have a relaxing evening xx

A day in the life of an insomniac

2008-03-20T00:40:00.034+04:00

Love this vintage style calendar <3>

Quickie 5 min touch up to look fresh...Chanels facepowder/subtle highlighter..fave blush...a stain of Beige Vanille Guerlain on my lips and a spritz of my signature Chanel scent as Coco used to say...place your perfume wherever youd like to be kissed *swoon*

Must haves...Shiseido hand cream...Agenda Im also an amnesiac now lol...little notebook for quick rounds and ssexy betty boop for longer notes to prepare..of course the surgical handbook for quick info at your fingertips...I have to find my Oxford one :S

Hopping in the car

Driving to work in the morning with my beloved lounge music or Fairouz <3

Weekly update on new advances in surgery

Journal club for discussion of latest surgical literature published in journals

View from conference room with sunlight streaming in

The on call call room...lol no Greys Anatomy Mcsteamy and Mcdreamy antics going on in here.

The black coffee ritual...lets just say its a jolt that shocks your system and allows you to function

Nursing station where al the patients files are written up on and lab tests checked on during rounds.

Work station where we write most reports and gather together to discuss patients on our morning rounds

Oscar and Lucy (I have to change their names) cheer me up every day at the nursing station

Daily ritual of unwinding to music online

lol reading material tonight...Vogue and a surgical literature paper

Out of the kazillion Chanels I own I

Couldnt decide which everyday bag to change into to...finally the reissue won :)

My private room where I get to unwind and get treated like royalty with my favourite beauticians

The sssexiest shade of red ever invented on my freshly parafined toes..soft as a babys butt :D

theres the cutest surprise in there for myself

I had to get the shoes to match with this Champagne coloured evening bag...dreamy

This picure just does no justice (click pic for a close up)...its sparkly and is a sexy statement to a simple look

Fell in love with a black cashmere dress that is so Coco and so me...just add my Chanel ballerina flats and some pearls and lounge at home in.
Heres a gorgeous gray taffeta skirt that I have to have and deciding between two swimsuits
Also picked a cute hoodie to make my jeans looks sssexier :p

Moms day present :)

My cant live without Chanel No.5 milk bath and bath oil (Ive been loyal for seven years now) with origins nitghttime antioxidant mask and my softttttt snuggly bathrobe..cosiness doesnt get better than this :)

Im addicited to quiet sensuous lighting before bed especially since med school

My fave scent along with Diptyques Gardenia and Jo malones Pomegranate..heavenly sleep x

Have a starry night xxxx

What it feels like for a Doctor

2008-03-13T20:05:00.010+04:00

Initial incision and exploration

Professor,specialist and resident..me :)

Holding the tumour.

"There's this whole ritual around going into the OR for a transplant that makes me feel like a high priest going into the temple: I cleanse myself, the patient is cleansed, and we go to a sterile environment.
The donor heart arrives in a cooler, and it feels like frozen turkey. It's about the same color, too. And slippery. Sewing it in should take less than forty-five minutes. To make sure no air gets in, the final sutures are put in underwater — under blood, actually. It's sort of like having sex: You need to feel the stitch. You sense the tip of the needle, and it has to feel correct — you're not going in too far, or missing the tissue, or getting too small a bite. As you're sewing, the heart starts to fill with blood. You have to time the last suture just right, just as the blood gets to the top.
The real anxiety comes when both clamps are removed and the blood starts flowing with pressure through the heart. That's when I can't help but wonder if I just killed someone. The new heart jumps around, trying to get its rhythm, like a fish flopping in a bucket of blood. Sometimes it can't. It just fibrillates, beating spastically, and we have to shock it.
The first five minutes are the most critical. If the heart turns from cream to pink, the color of a juicy steak, we're optimistic. There's this incredible feeling of bliss, like we've just reached our Zen moment. The high fives come out. But if it turns dark red and looks bruised, it's damaged, sometimes irreversibly. Then we close the skin up with number-two nylon, and I go out to tell the family I'm sorry."

Dr Mehmet Oz, World renowed Cardiac surgeon.

We had a patient come in diagnosed with a tumour in the abdomen scheduled for excision. On examination the mass was partially small and mobile.

After we opened her up I was so shocked to see the size of the tumour...literally it was the size of a fist.The worst part of it all was that it was so attached to the surrounding organs by adhesions that the Professor couldnt tell where the source of the tumour was...the pancreas was wrapped around it...was apprehensive about cutting off the bile duct by mistake...so he decided to go for a Whipple.

In the Whipple operation the head of the pancreas, a portion of the bile duct, the gallbladder and the duodenum is removed. Occasionally a portion of the stomach may also be removed. After removal of these structures the remaining pancreas, bile duct and the intestine is sutured back into the intestine to direct the gastrointestinal secretions back into the gut and allow the patient to have normal functions...the tumour was extremely vascular and it took a really long time to carefully dissect it out without causing serious bleeders..After almost four tense hours the tumour was out...the anastomosis was done...the drains inserted to prevent collections of fluids in the abdomen postoperatively and we closed up the skin.

It was the most thrilling experience ever...to be a part of helping someone in that way is something I cant describe...it pushes you...drives you...and brings you a sense of exhilaration...Im so grateful everyday for learning and for being given the privilege to continously keep that learning process undergoing until enshalla one day many years from now I will master it to an art.

The patient is recovering well el7amdilah and her prayers to the Professor on the round the next day just humbled me because this is what its all about...we strive to learn...to help...to improve ourselves as people and physicians everyday...and through all the personal struggles we have in our daily lives...the work problems and challenges we face as the beginners of the long road ahead of us...those prayers are what keep us going.

My la-la land

2008-03-07T09:40:00.024+04:00

Im currently at work right now...on gorgeous Friday morning...its peaceful and really soothing.Woke up refreshed today after an early nights sleep (finally) the best thing about Friday work? No traffic...just a long wide expanse of clear road along the beachfront the cloudy skies up ahead tinged with the rays of sunshine playing peekabo casting different subdued hues across the sparkling sea.I popped in my chillout lounge CD and listened to zero 7's waiting line...the ultimate in morning smooth grooves...I put in a clip for you guys to enjoy too while you read the rest of this entry.

Walked in and whilst Im waiting for patients decided to do my shopping online...yippy skippy at the sexy stuff Im finding...Honestly this season Ive fallen in love with Miu Miu...gorgeousness...as a true Lanvin addict Ive never been disappointed..I found some very soft pieces..and a couple of Alberta ferretti silk dresses..lol not to mention the black silk Stella flapper style dress that I can dress up or down in a million ways...Im thinking biker jacket and ankle boots...or delicious Chanel pearls and silk louboutins...lol I can go on.
Its just that with all my life and time in the hospital...always trying to study for residency placement exams I get caught up in it all...I love creativity and like all the other women in this world fashion is an outlet for my creativity...an expression and an extension of myself and my varied moods...and since I barely have time to trawl the malls of dxb...AD is not exactly a variety filled garden...just labels and no sizes and no choice...its either when Im on vacation or online wrapped in my PJ's and snuggly robe...Heaven...

In the meantime I cant wait to hit the gym again in a couple of weeks...surgeons not allowed me to work out just walk for now...but on a plus note to add to my motivation I found the Chanel tennis racquet I was trying to hunt down..so cuuute...on a down side lol they didnt have the skirts I was lusting for.

Theres this Stella outfit above that I fell in love with...clean fresh simple lines and another cute one thats just fun...Im still on the lookout.

After the coaxing of one my sweetest pals...Im also going to take up skiing this year...lol another reason to hunt down Chanel skis ahahaha and a gorgeous snow bunny outfit to match...it'll be perfect for the upcoming summer months especially as I hate travelling in summer,for me its so passe...Fall winter vacations are incredibly delicious...and loads of fun.

I gotta run off right now...loves you guys bunches xxx

Breathe

2008-02-28T19:43:00.010+04:00

There's a concept about growing old...a concept that we as women embrace but yet resist....I came across a saying that reinforced my belief in growing old...for me I've always believed that growing old is a beautiful process...we live...the older we live the more we travel down the road we call life...life in all its splendor is a journey...the choices we make define the road we travel on...along the way we come to stops..we come to turns...we come to dead ends..we meet people who give us a better understanding of who we are...who challenge us in more ways than one...who sometimes in the worst cases bring out the worst in ourselves...causing discomfort..sometimes its not them we don't like but the reflection of them mirroring qualities we possess subconsciously but would rather be in denial about...
Ive come across women who would love nothing better than to erase the signs of aging....understandingly we live in a very image conscious world...for me youth is just the beginning...the stories we've live through...the laughter we've shared...the pain we've survived...the experiences we have yet to go through all tell a story...that beautiful story is etched on our faces...theres nothing more poignant than being proud of your story...why erase it? Why carry it inside and conform to a society built on superficial looks? That is aging gracefully.
The saying I came across said that aging is not a curse..its a privilege...
The privilege to wake up everyday to face a new beginning...its a privilege to have more time to experience life..to make dreams...to pursue them and to be surprised by fates specific plans for you...its a privilege to fall down to your knees in your darkest hours and to pick yourself up again only to come out stronger and all the wiser and more inspired to make tomorrow even better.
I cant begin to describe how hard it is for me to understand that with the knowledge we have of our own being...we still hold ourselves back...we try to stop feeling...we think a million times before we dare to succumb to our dreams and desires...and we don't realize that we have only one life...for those that have the courage to live, they face the wrath or disillusionment of the people around them...how can we call ourselves humane if we are denying ourselves our own basic rights...the right to pave our own way...the right to walk upon our own chosen paths because we face condemnation from the same people who have the same dreams yet aren't comfortable in their own skin to materialize it.
Personally to a large extent I dont care...Im open to life...I love diversity...I get a rush from the unknown...and expect and accept that I will make mistakes because that firsthand experience unleashes sides of myself that I need to discover...need to tap into...you cant go on unless you know who you really are...and you'll never know unless you stop being in the comfort zone and step out of your bubble...we read about life and love...we lose ourselves in movies and novels and we wish for so much yet we stay guarded...the world is a curious fascinating place...the world is one phase after another...no matter which path you choose everyday is an enrichment of who you are...we owe it to ourselves to feel...to think...to reflect...to love...to look beyond the frivolities of life and to strive to be the best we can be...not what other people want us to be.
I wrote in a previous post that I've lived a million lives and for that Im a better person.
Absolutely no regrets.
I look forward to tomorrow...inshalla for all the years to come...all Ive ever wanted was to be sitting on a calm night decades from now...near a fireplace and on a rocking chair...looking back at my journey and smiling at the comforting ghosts of the pasts...the memories...the moments...the travels...the laughter...the achievements...and all thats enriched it...As I turn to the future love of my life next me, he catches my eye and looks at me with his own reminiscent knowing glance...and with no words spoken..smiles with me...
Its going to be one hell of a journey..

Quod Me Nutrit Me Destruit

2008-02-27T17:36:00.004+04:00

I sat up for four days straight in between recovering and sleeping reading The Diana Chronicles...the highly controversial book that topped the bestseller lists weeks long before it was due in stores...From the media blitz before the release I was expecting a princess bashing book about shortcomings and the usual critique from the author.

From the first page I was hooked...it was one of the best page turners Ive come across...it wasn't a tabloid fiction based on loose facts...rather a deep psychological study on the monarchy and the Princess herself...as Brown writes she weaves the details and the facts together to bring you something Ive never encountered in any of the other Diana books...a sense of her true essence...the world she lived in and the world she created...up until the last moments of her life.

I think one of the things Ive always associated with her was her ability to laugh at herself and to be true to who she was regardless of how it would appear...the more she shared her flaws the more she drew people in...it takes alot to unapologetically be yourself and embrace your weaknesses in a world that focuses on pretty pictures of eternal happiness and perfection...For a Princess...there hasn't been any other quite like her.

We live in a hedonistic world...the pursuit of instant gratification and short term happiness by whatever means specific to each individual...Diana like the rest of us built her life around a dream...she built dreams out of that dream...We've all been there...we've believed in things that maybe we shouldn't have...we've pursued a star that upon almost reaching it vanishes showing us the fallacy of our deepest wishes...and we've all clung on to a notion that resonates within our subconscious to trigger off a rollercoater of beginings and twists...of the endless heady intoxication of highs and lows that not only take over your whole life, nourishing it to completeness yet causes a spiral of all your thoughts and dreams to come crashing down in one succession at the same time..

Annual Bubblys

2008-02-22T11:03:00.004+04:00

I haven't updated recently as I wasn't well...the episode gave me a sudden jolt of realization of the fragility of the human being...working with patients slowly detached me from their physical pain and the role reversal shook me with a better understanding of what it really feels like being in their place...morphine is the worst drug in the world ever...Its literally nauseating..el7amdila for everything its been a good recovery and Im thankful to having my loved ones support me through it all..
So back to the bubbles....Although my personal journal has been full..I missed writing here...I decided to post my Annual List as its been on my mind for ages so I hope you all get to share the fun with me until I update with something more substantial soon.

Cleansers:
Dermalogica ultracalming cleanser...the best discovery this year.
Cle de peau eau fraiche cleanser...really gives a fresh soft finish without overdrying and respects your skins need to stay balanced.
Makeup Remover:
Johnsons baby extracare wipes with pale green moisturizing stripes...the perfect precleanse but does not remove mascara.
Chanels eyemakeup remover.
Moisturizer:
Chanel Hydramax+serum...boosts hydration levels of the skin and can be used in conjunction with almost anything.
Elemis Trienzyme peel serum and night cream.
Eyes:
Chanel Sublimage...simply put this is an absolute stunner...created a cult following and its not hard to see why.
Dark Circles...Hylexin.
Eyemask..Estee lauder stress relief eyemask/Clarins eye mask (pop in the fridge 10 min before for an ultra treat)
Masks:
Origins out of trouble 10 min mask...Nixes all your skin woes to deep cleanse and calm at the same time.
Guerlain super aqua sheet masks....the deliciously scented sheets impart serious moisture and utter relaxation of your senses...best used on a calm evening with warm pj's and lounge music.
Origins white tea guardian antioxidant nighttime mask...neutralises all those harsh antioxidants that attack your skin during the day.
Scrubs:
Elemis papaya enzyme peel...literally eats up all your dead skin cells that deprive you from a fresh glow.
Clinique gentle exfoliator...so soft it wont aggravate sensitive skin.
Bobbi browns buffing grains...a real favourite of mine...mix with water or any of your cleansers for a quick scrub. Dermatologist based treatments:
Chanel micro solution peel with 10% Glycolic acid...this once a year programme with micro ampoules for 21 days works perfectly in winter when skin is less prone to irritation from the sun and the heat in summer.
Natura bisse glycoline...for those with less sensitive skin has a higher concentration of Glycolic acid.
Breakouts:
Mario Badescu drying lotion
Kiehls drawing paste
Chanels purete ideal blemish treatment
for those breakouts that you just had to squeeze...apply Fucidin H cream at drugstores.
Suscreen:
Clarins UV Plus SPF 40....light as air.
Primer:
Laura Mercier oil free foundation primer. <3<3<3<3

Foundation:Lancome teint idole ultra.
Chanel teint innocence compact...smooths on skin like a fresh cool breeze...literally.
Giorgio armani luminous silk foundation.
Clarins teint souffle...I wont ever stop raving about this one.
Powder:
T.clerc loose powder...one of the worlds best kept beauty secret.
Dior forever compact...perfect to keep in your purse or the car for quick touchups...doesnt hurt that the packaging is cuuute.
Bareescentuals mineral i.d
Concealer:
By Terry lightening expert foundation/concealer...Shes the same creator of the infamous Touche eclat by YSL which comes second on this list.
Mascara:
Lancome Virtuose
YSL mascara volume effect faux cils
Body smoothers:
Kiehls soy honey scrub
Natura Bisse honey scrub...crystals of honey do the work on dry skin to later come into contact with water and literally melt into the skin leaving you with the softest skin ever.
Body creams:
Kiehls creme de corp
Hand cream:
Shiseido hand cream...rich and ultra moisturizing.
Foot care:
Apart from my obsessive weekly paraffin treatment I love to maintain my tippy toes with Bliss foot patrol cream and softening socks once a week...perfect for a cozy night in with a mug of cocoa and your bestie on the phone.
Hair:

Shampoo

Kerastase bain miroir
Kerastase Nutridefense bain satin
conditioner
Kerastase nutridefense lait
Bumble and bumble creme de coco...smells so gorgeous you'll want to eat it up
mask
Philip Kingsleys hair elasticiser
Frederic fekkai overnight hair repair
shine
Bumble and bumble brilliantine...gives me the perfect just rolled out of bed slept in look.
Frederic fekkai glossing creme.
styling product
Bumble and bumble straight...has seven different types of silicone in it so it coats the hair and gives a gorgeous result to your blowdry
Bumble and bumble grooming creme.
Kiehls silk groom.
Mason pearsons hairbrush.

Have a bubblybeautylicious weekend x

A smile and a skip

2008-02-10T11:48:00.001+04:00

As a gorgeous celebration of the month of love and adhering to my New Years resolution of being open to new things I decided to devote my time to doing all the things that I love.
I have been ecstatically surprised to see that everyday has been gorgeous in its own right...Im more relaxed than I ve ever been and as a result I find a strength returning with alot of inspiration enthusiasm sparkling within me..
The older we grow the more we come to understand lifes more defining and poignant messages...You only have one chance to live it...why not vivaciously?

To you..one gorgeous track that Ive been addicted to since January, from one of my favourite arabic vocalists Elissa...cant wait for the music video...or is it out already?

The past two weeks involved devoting most of my time to proving my place in my new department with the support of the team..I feel like its another world and another breed of doctors...the Head is one of the most professional people Ive encoutered at the hospital and is looked upon literally and I quote as the 'Godfather'...all of the surgeons bend over backwards to win his respect and Im impressed with the level of teamwork and commitment that each of them put in to their day everyday...Ive been assigned to a specialist who is incredibly genius and is wholeheartedly teaching me the art of surgery from the working aspect to the how to think like a surgeon and allowing that to extend through to my own life..Happily my philosophical side is satiated to the point where waking up every morning has become a pleasure...and coming home with mental notes of things to read up on and research gives me a better sense of fulfillment.
I was assigned an intern too who is so sweet she makes me laugh everyday...and everytime she wants to sneak off the floor after her responsibilities are fulfilled she'd turn to look at me with the desperate bored look all interns learn to master and I would remember my own days...with the calmest voice I'd say "I don't want to know where you are I assume youre at the clinic right?" to which her face would break out into a huge smile and she'd skip off...home.

I leave you with a smile and a skip myself...Have a starry night xx

Must haves

2008-02-03T02:32:00.001+04:00

Every year I come up with my personal stamp of approval for the best products that Ive discovered...Since its really going to take forever to post I thought Id share them over my coming entries or until next weekend when I'd write the whole thing...In the meantime for you gorgeous girls out there are three equally gorgeous products that have surpassed my standards for must-haves.

Its the softest veil of translucency that actually lives up to its promise of staying put for 14 hours...Just pat on a little over problem areas...wait to dry completely to allow the microspheres to take effect and watch it stay all day with no need to retouch.

Ive still noticed alot of women who still dont match their foundation to their skin...Regardless of how great a product is and the reviews it gets...if it doesnt have your exact skin shade then move on until you find the brand that does....Most sales people have really surprised me when I see them telling customers to get a shade lighter or darker because that negates the whole purpose...foundation is to perfect the canvas so that everything will look polished afterwards...and the lighting in most stores is not reflective of how the colour will turn out...neither should you test foundation over your hand...ever...it should be over the jawline and should be a perfect match.

The second generation to Lancomes original Teint Idole...Teint Idole Ultra.

Imagine my glee when I discovered this...gives gorgeousssss shine...comes in the cutest colours...My vote goes to Vanille Beige...a stunning glossy nude that has been on my lips for the past three days straight.

Guerlain Kiss Kiss Gloss sticks.

The product that beat Cetaphil (the medically ranked gentlest cleanser in the world)....Dermalogica's Ultra calming cleanser soothed and calmed my skin...perfect enough to use for our weather and gentle but really effective at cleaning skin...I was giving my skin a detox this winter and this was my one allowed product apart from sunscreen...Results are delicious.

Have a good week peoplessss xx

Escape

2008-02-01T23:35:00.001+04:00

Its been an interesting week. More so on a personal level...Ive settled into my comfort zone by finding new things to pursue and old favourites I had left behind.
The weather has been hauntingly beautiful...Spent a lovely afternoon in my favourite private hideaway place overlooking the sea..
As I watched the wind transform everything into a frenzy...blowing the waves into a crashing succession of white that foamed and merged into one another...my hair blown into strands across my face and shoulders as it whipped through me and my soul...I suddenly felt an invigorating sense of renewal.
I recall being here exactly a year ago...fresh out of my intern programme...life was different...all it takes is one year...I stood in the same place it all started for me and moments flashed by as the sky turned a daker shade of grey...Im not complete...a part of me decided to leave and stay in the past where it belongs...every now and then Im reminded of another time...another place...and I know that Im not the only one...
It took me some time to figure out that the one thing youre running from is the same thing youre running to...Life is so ironic.

I decided to thouroughly enjoy this alluring weather by taking up tennis...Im really looking forward to it...and I cant wait to hit the courts soon...Being the free spirit that I am with the attention span of a mosquito...this is something that I know Im going to see through...lol at least until the weather changes : P

Am on the hunt for these.

Heres a couple of all time faves to see you through the evening..

Have a starry night xx

Thank God its Thursday

2008-01-24T21:08:00.000+04:00

I adore her

The tree I talked about in my last post : P

Ethereal gorgeousness

Lounging around @ my sisters in London

Foof I miss you! xxxx

My good friend is getting engaged tomorrow and we're all yippy skippy for her...After all the hospital work, its a great chance to slide into my Choos have my hair done and wear my Dior inspired dress a la Sienna Miller...nothing in this world gives me greater pleasure :D
Have a terrific weekend xx

Sleeeeepy

2008-01-23T15:25:00.000+04:00

I woke up today oblivious to my surroundings...I performed my daily ritual of sleepily hitting the snooze button three different times with each piercing shriek reminding me that the next ring would be the last and finally Id have to drag my body out of my cosy cocoon to pad off into my bathroom where conveniently, I already have cushions waiting for me in the tub!
Unfortunately I woke up five minutes later than usual...and with the insane traffic on the roads these days that would mean walking into the meeting room later than the Head of Surgery...something I would prefer to forgo.
I sighed and got ready...drove to work in the same trance-like state that I woke up in...stopped at a red light in the longest morning rush...pulled out my cam and took a picture of a tree..(dont ask)...reached work by some twisted sort of fate early and watched a fascinating presentation on a male patient who was admitted after a car accident that completely whacked his spine, with the CT scans showing impacted bone fragments in the spinal cord and some seriously shattered vertebrae.
I would have killed to scrub in and watch them operate but as usual all the fun surgeries either don't happen here or actually don't happen...according to the consultant the experts have agreed that leaving him in this state would be better for him than risking the surgery and operating on him leaving him with serious damage.
I sighed again for the second time this morning and joined the team to be assigned the exciting task of discharging patients..yay..Hey at least on the bright side, they get to go home before the weekend to spend time with their families.
Im on call tonight. Bleh and its not even for medical reasons.
Sometimes I wish life would just get more interesting already. I find myself like an automaton working,half hearted attempts at studying and sleeping. Whilst the world is living around me and life is happening, my eyes glaze over in boredom at the snails pace things are at my end these days.
Honestly theres so much more to life.

On a lighter note my product find of the week is Chanels Navy Satin. The sequel to last years Black satin will not disappoint...a rich,deep inky navy that has the right amount of subdued shimmer in it and one coat was all it took to let it stay on my hands from the evening through work the next day..this coming from a girl who prefers not having colour on my nails at work.Its that sssexy.

Another delicious treat is Kiehls Soy milk and Honey body polish. This is one scrub that made my usual favourite, Natura Bisse Honey scrub pale in comparision. Not only does it contain my two favourite ingredients milk and pure honey, but its scent is yummy enough to eat and the grains in it are so gentle on my skin that I didnt realize how much this product meant serious business until I noticed the next afternoon how incredibly soft my skin was..Im hooked. From the same range is the new Nurturing body wash cream and the infamous Creme de Corp in original and light versions that my skin just drank up..Prepare yourself for baby smooth skin follow.

Mid Island Blues

2008-01-15T22:11:00.000+04:00

The heavens literally parted and the rain has been falling down in different moods...it ranges from light showers to an all out outburst of heavy downpour,large raindrops rolling down into the earth below and the clouds cover the sky in bundles of grey whilst I look on absolutely satisfied,because it reflects my mood.
I adore grey skies, cold icy breezes and pelting rain...its one of the reasons why I love travelling away in winter...to totally experience the season in its full glory...I get so profoundly affected by the weather and theres been something so whimsical about the last couple of days that I found myself a bit deeper in my thoughts than usual..

My evening lullaby for you...play it in the background...listen to the raindrops softly tap against your windowpane and let those daydreams take you away into a deep slumber, where they will come true...Have a starry night xxx

PinkChampagne Beauty Bible

2008-01-08T19:10:00.000+04:00

Its been no secret to those who know me that Im the biggest beauty junkie out there...seriously I kid you not..lotions and potions and magical feelings of bliss are my forte.
It started out as a young girl, sitting on her mothers dresser and admiring the beautiful bottles and scents, soft blush brushes that Id love to swish over my nose, makeup in gorgeous colors and delicious creams with heavenly textures..I used to sit on the edge of her bed in the evenings before one of her dinner parties watching her get dressed in awe...Soft puffs of scented powder here...a gentle cloud of perfume there...Black glossy lashes...rose cheekbones and the ultimate in a little girls fantasy world..the lipstick...
Growing up it definitely affected how I perceived beauty and although we love to believe in beauty being skin deep...the timelessness of womens rituals from Cleopatras milk baths to the Courtesans of France are living proof that the legacy will continue on...and lol the multibillion dollar industry that operates the beauty world also proves otherwise...
Beauty is a sense of welbeing...a private world, a sanctuary to escape and run to when things just dont seem right in your life...the happy high you get when you wake up glowing the morning after your dream night cream...the stress relieved when you book into a spa and sink yourself into the hands of your masseur followed by a nail treatment leaving you with beautifully polished tippy toes...deep conditioning and head massages that leave you with silky strands....its all part of the magic and theres so much more...for the women who constantly give me excuses that theyre super busy running the world consider it me-time and enjoy...
Im launching this corner on my blog to discuss any questions...update you on whats new...post pics of my favourite tried and tested... and maybe share a few of my own personal secrets with you.

Funny Bedtime thought:
Thank you God for the blessed day you decided to create me a girl :D

Diamond in the sky...

2008-01-07T19:10:00.000+04:00

James Blunt released a beautiful song about nostalgia called 1973...Im sure many of you have heard it and no doubt its probably affected many of you the way it affected me..
'and as time goes by I will always be in a club with you in 1973'
Regardless of who the mystery Simone is, whether a lover, a mentor perhaps or a spiritual fun crusader in an era where the world was still backlashing against the aftermath of tragedies that had happened halfway across the world in Vietnam...the point is this..
Memories and moments are all we have...invoking the spirit of laughter..times of passion...bittersweet melancholy..daring adventurous challenges that weve faced...places weve been to...and the people who happen to share our moments make remembrance so much more...
Looking back through my time I realize that I am richer than I ever could imagine...Its the most beautiful thing to follow your own path...because the nostalgia that remains is yours...from your moments...your choices...to the chosen ones by fate whose own paths are destined to cross yours...all that is yours...and I choose to celebrate that humbly...because its made me all what I am today..
Today I am richer because of the people who have crossed my life and taught me some of the most important lessons I have ever learned by generously sharing with me the different journeys life has taken them on...
Today I am richer because over the years I established a network of friends who have seen me fall..seen me smile and still love the person I am...
I am richer because I understand pain and adversity but I have never allowed that to embitter me....rather it gives a push to be a better doctor and to empathize and be supportive with friends,loved ones and people I meet...at the end of the day everyone needs to feel understood...validated....and through that I get to understand myself better.
Im not perfect...far from it in fact..as TheNormal sees it, lool Im a 'Melancholic Vampire'...
Vampire or not, tonight Im going to unwind and relax and and allow the flashbacks and ghosts of the past to visit me and comfort me, I need to be soothed tonight..
After all..nostalgia is mine.

In loving memory of JD, My diamond in the sky...
Heres looking at you kid..Wish you were here

Muse

2007-12-31T22:00:00.000+04:00

Inspiration comes in many unexpected forms.
Infamous 60's rocker self proclaimed "Lizard king" Jim Morrison, believed that the body was the soul's prison unless the five senses were fully developed and open.He considered the senses the 'windows of the soul' and that 'our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us.'
I find inspiration to be one of the most beautiful sensual experiences a person can go through..
To me inspiration is creation.
A chance conversation with a random stranger...the colour of the sky at dusk...a simple golden leaf in the midst of a pile of colours in the autumn...or a still winter night blanketed by softly falling snowflakes..a special era in time...a page turning book...an unexpected encounter with life...or the materialization of a dream before your eyes...all lead to different forms of creation...because no matter where or how busily immersed in lifes routine...a sudden epiphany stops us in our tracks and opens your soul...
I like to think we are all artists at heart...we articulate ourselves in different ways...the writer portrays humanity...the designer creates dreams...the surgeon heals artistically...the musician relays universal depths of emotion..and interestingly enough although we may get inspired by the same musings we coexist differently through the imaginary lines between us that paradoxically join us together in the recesess of our minds.
2007 was an inspiring year for me especially towards its end when I was least expecting it and it came as a lovely surprise in one gorgeous bubble...I learnt that planning ahead gets you far to a certain extent but the unknown brims with twists and turns that keep you on your toes and sometimes changes the course of your path forever..

This is why Im not making any resolutions this year..because as the final day of December draws to a close, I feel that life for me has come full circle...sure I have plans but better than that, Im throwing my arms wide open to embrace the unexpected everyday..Afterall, the fire that fuels is an open soul...and I cant wait :)

May This New year bring you all the treats and wishes that your heart desires...may it let you jump into fantabulous experiences and special memories to last you a lifetime...Heres to new beginings..BubblyCheers and Happy New Year xoxo

Destination Vertical

2007-12-12T15:18:00.000+04:00

"No one believes that their life will turn out just kind of okay...We all think we are going to be great. And from the day we decide to be surgeons, we are filled with expectation. Expectations of the trails we will blaze, the people we will help, the difference we will make. Great expectations of who we will be, where we will go.
And then we get there.
We all think we’re going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren’t met. But sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still.
The expected's just the beginning...The unexpected is what changes our lives."

And finally just when I thought things could not get any better...The chapter begins..

He asked me why I wanted to be a surgeon?
"Theres a passion within that motivates and inspires us to be driven towards accomplishing our dreams goals desires whatever...." I looked up at him intently...."Surgery has been the love of my life Professor".
The next thing I heard was so unexpected that it came to me as a revelation...the feeling of a moment of greatness..Ive never been more humbled by somebodys words yet overwhelmed with awed anticipation at the same time..

Since Ive been appointed (omg surreal =))))))) the enthusiasm has been bubbling to bursting point all week....I love my patients in my old dermatology department and the rapport Ive established with them over the last few months happened so quickly...Whilst I was away on vacation the receptionist surprised me by informing me that they refused to see other doctors and waited until I got back...and lol I got the sweetest welcome...
To me thats priceless...its the best feeling in the world when you know that youve succeeded in getting your patients to trust you not just with the disease itself but in opening up to me about their lives...asking for my opinion on matters that werent related to my specific department because they know my solid belief in taking the time to listen, educate and explain whilst treating them and going out of my way with pleasure to make sure that at the end of the day Ive given each one of them 100% , so whether that requires me to seriously piss off Senior Consultant histolab guys ego when I asked for a second opinion on his very evasive diagnostic report on a patient that was stated to have query skin cancer for two years (wtf is that?!!) just to put the poor patient out of his misery then Ill do it....or be honest about better and more effective treatment options available elsewhere too then Ill do that too..at the end of the day its a responsibility and as much as I hated working there in the begining things became better because now I get to practice my favourite art in the world.

Ive never felt more at home in a hospital than in the O.R..its an adrenaline rush I can't describe..learning new techniques and being challenged and inspired by some of the most professionally brilliant surgeons around...

Surgeons are another breed...we're neurotic...we're perfectionists and we are dedicated individuals with so many different fascinating and interests and activities in our own world.

I head off to London once more soon (yesssssssssssssssssssssssss!) to take my Basic Surgical skills course and I have so many things to do after that...its going to be a fantabulous year inshalla.

Things cant get any better than this. Life is good.

Metamorphosis

2007-12-09T17:25:00.000+04:00

Its been almost a week since I arrived...I was going through some of my entries in my personal diary and I shake my head in disbelief at how much things have changed mashalla...its been quite a trip...2007 has by far been one of my most enlightening journeys..
Its one thing to experience life outside of your own fishbowl and quite another to live it in that glass..the best part is that like a spectrum of extremes Ive been from one end to another and today I find myself in a zen like state of mind...Ive reached my balance..Life couldn't get any better than it is right now.
My thoughts have materialized into a definite plan...Ive already chosen my new years resolutions carefully and am embracing what's to come...I know the new year will bring so many unexpected surprises and that's what Ive loved about life...you honestly never know what state of mind you will wake up to tomorrow...just when I thought the end of this year was drawing to a close, the winter breeze blew in some stunningly beautiful magic in so many forms into the past month that changed absolutely everything..restoring my faith in life and in my recent decisions as well as grounding me to reflect on the multitude of blessings and chances that I find in my way every single day...Nyxx put it well..everyday you wake up is another chance to pray.
I believe its also another chance to love...to embrace...to take whats with you..shed your skin and morph into another more fantabulous you =)

I leave you with a woman who has morphed over the span of her twenty year career and who began to shed her skin while dealing with the difficult death of Micheal Hutchence lead singer for INXS who was her lover and mentor...shes faced adversity in the public eye which I think is one of the hardest things to cope with..managed to bounce back every time and is one of the sweetest scandal free women in the industry..Ive been a fan of her music since her first release in 1988 and this is a tribute to her new album "X" that was released last week in london and is already creating a storm especially in my car lol.
This is her first album after her imminent struggle with breast cancer and her much publicized break up after a 4 year relationship with french beau Oliver Martinez.
In the debut song "2hearts" she morphs into the role of reprising Marilyn Monroe and she looks fantabulous!

Halloween

2007-10-31T00:36:00.001+04:00

The Witches' Spell

Double, double, toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
Fillet of a fenny snake
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and owlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth, boil and bubble.
Double, double, toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
—by William Shakespeare—

Let tonight weave a spell on you...meet vampires..ghosties and things that go bump in the night...

Rent your favourite classic and kickstart the creepy evening..

Bubblywishes for the sexiest and spookiest Halloween ever...

2007-10-12T17:19:00.000+04:00

Kel 3am wintu b5air....Bubblybest wishes and loads of love to all xxx

Snow Queen

2007-10-11T00:55:00.000+04:00

Summertime has always been one of the most tempermental times of the year for me...with the first warm breeze that sweeps into the city, invading it to billow into a full on blast furnace comes change...

Over the years Ive learned to accept the changes that come with this time...like the seasons of the year...passionate..growing...dying...blooming...the transformations that sweep into my life run their course like a flowing river that cannot be stopped..Ive learned not to interfere with mother nature...I go with the flow and no matter how much I want to step in...I understand that although you do you have control over your life...you have no control over what comes into it...when it comes to destiny, it is futile to not accept your limitations.

Rewind to a warm June afternoon..Sitting in one of my regular lunch hangouts absentmindedly twirling a strand of my hair, contemplating upcoming weekends plans and debating over whether I should have pasta or the healthier option of another boring salad, I waited with a classmate for a friend of mine to pick up an acquaintance of hers and join us.

As Sophie Ellis was singing in the background about murder and dancefloors my classmate randomly aknowledged the door with a nod of her head just in time for me to look up and see my friend walk in towards the table with her acquaintance, who swept in like a hurricane towards us...and all of a sudden I felt a completely changing dynamic in the atmosphere.

Dressed head to toe in cream holding a black purse in her hand, her hair swung nonchalantly over her shoulders...I sensed an imposing aura of self assuredness and something else I couldnt seem to place my finger on..something that just rubbed me the wrong way...surrounded by an elusive air of authority..the only touch of defiance...colour, was her red lipstick..I took one look at it and balked...

I was almost 23 years old at the time and was going through a myriad of phases that summer in the aftermath of a metamorphosis that had me examining and questioning myself and life more deeply...

Armed with the arrogance of youth I was in the midst of my quest to find answers for all the confusion I was feeling about what life really meant...I held pure contempt for any notion of the words authority and restraint and was torn in the realm of being in a world that I wanted so much to understand but yet not conform to at the same time..I stepped out of my comfort zone and found myself in foreign territory.

I was going through my rebellious phase.

Worldy and sophisticated, she represented everything I wanted to grow into at the time...She had all the answers, held her own and seemed always in control.

I was fascinated and repelled at the same time...I didnt want to associate with her for fear of being tainted in some way by her worldliness and thus bursting my own bubble...Her reality was too realistic for an idealist like me...I was happy manipulating life in my own way..my thrill-seeking freespirited devil-may-care attitude to life had me believing that the world was my oyster and that I was invinscible.

We disliked each other immediately.

We ended up being the best of friends.

Its been five years since that summer afternoon...Words cant begin to describe what a journey its been...I think in the span of all these years we've lived a million lives...gone through so much and Ive really been blessed to have her constant presence in my life...shes been the wisest person Ive ever known...my mentor and inspiration...in her youth lies an old soul thats never failed to persevere...I thank her for being a sanctuary to my innermost thoughts...for allowing me to do what I needed to without judgement and for never making it easy by giving me the answers...rather she let me find my own way...its been laughter and insanity and fantabulous memories.

Heres to you...a toast of bubbly cheers your way...May this year make you wiser sssexier and closer to your dreams than ever...Happy Birthday NJ xxx

Believe

2007-10-08T22:28:00.000+04:00

"What is it about the sky that intrigues you?"
"It's about having the posture to hold your chin up, to raise your eyes to something higher, looking up in life."

When you believe-Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston

The world gives you so much...and it takes away even more.
Destiny has the strangest way of bringing you to terms with yourself...the closest you get to something..its not the same.
My spirit exists in my solitude.
I am not my memories...I am my dreams.
Believe.

Dream of you

2007-10-08T05:58:00.000+04:00

"I Feel You" and the second video "Dream Of You" will play consecutively after each other.
Now..be alone...blast it full on and prepare to lose your senses.

Its really an experience to sit back and let your mind go anywhere it wants without conforming to the lyrics
set by the singer...its creativity unleashed at its best when more than a dozen people can hear the same song and their souls react to it so similarly yet their minds so different...thats the magic of Schiller...

Schiller is a journey...and listening to him is your own personal journey...wherever you subconsciously choose to set your spirit free...the tone of his voice...the powerful music and the background bass all are with you...unlike mainstream music...you lead the music with your thoughts.

Schiller is the brainchild of Christopher Von Deylen, an electronic/new age artist from Berlin.
Soothing new age melodies combine a diverse mix of rythms,cultures and emotions with ethnic instrumentation, exotic vocals and futuristic synthesizers to deliver an exotic blend of world/new age music with fine hints of European trance...embarking you on a journey that sets you free.

This is serenity at its best...Let it's reality engulf you.

Overpowered

2007-10-07T14:20:00.000+04:00

Roisin Murphy...you probably remember the cute blonde with the cutest voice as lead singer of Moloko that produced the sssexiest house music ever...
Shes gone solo and I love her quirky eclectic Debut video with a seriously tongue-in-cheek portrayal of the depth of her meanings.
Roisin Murphy Overpowered
Ive been so proud of how I taught myself how to do this...I feel like Im on my way to being a TechnoBlonde no more :( <------I think the titles ubercute :)Theres another one by her...a flashback to the 80's called "Let me know" that follows after.
Seriously...enjoy :)

Iconic women

2007-10-06T11:40:00.001+04:00

Curling in this weekend with Audrey Hepburn and Princess Grace Kelly

My rabbit fur lined Chanels and my Jackie O barrier from the world for my cold winter walks.

lol! PeekaBoo

Afternoon bubbly baths with the vintage classics

I grew up in London...one of the fashion capitals of the world in the presence of one of the most stylish woman of her time...my mother..who taught me all the secrets of how do the French say it..the je' ne sais quoi?
She in turn had inherited her love of elegance and understated glam from my grandmother who still rules in my heart as the true definition of a woman.
The epitome of grace...modesty..elegance and the most inspirational woman that I have ever come across..Im truly blessed to be a part of her legacy...She used to glide around her house in beautiful silk dresses and a soft cloud of perfume that left the faintest trail of a whisper in the wake of her presence as her tall slim figure stood still...She instilled in me an eternal love affair with Chanel and taught me lessons on life...love and men..and the most important of all...How to be a self posessed woman.

I remember last year before she died when she was in the hospital...she looked at me and asked me to fetch her lipstick...and thats how she was.

I really miss her and wish that she would be here now...I need her advice..I need her inspirational facts...Being her firstgrandaughter...she was at the delivery room with mom that day...she picked me up and carried me into my mothers arms...that special bond between us continues to all eternity...This ramadan I sent lots of love and prayers to her...because she still lives in me..everyday.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCBn04DTCHc
Frank Sinatra 'Witchcraft' (Play from 00:58 seconds)

I genuinely believe you cannot acquire true class or style...either youre born with it or youre not...Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis...Coco Chanel...Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly..are those who came from different backgrounds but since the early years showed their innate sense of individuality and elegance..I love them because I relate to their style...growing up they inspired me..You have to be passionate about being a feminine creature to be able to exude your personality through your clothes...your poise...the words you choose to articulate...and inject it into your work and the causes you believe in.

Jacqueline Kennedy single-handedly turned the stuffy White House into its best years...she revolutionized fashion in America when first ladies before her did nothing to inspire the country's ladies...anything Jackie would wear the rest of the world followed...and although she was not allowed to wear french couture due to political reasons..she used to sneak the Diors and Chanels in from france..and work with her designer Oleg Cassini to give them a twist and claim them as his....although she wore many of his stunning gowns countless times.
Her resilience and dignity through Kennedys philandering ways throughout their marriage by being her own person as well as how she brought the whole mourning nation together by maintaining her own regal composure during his death all taught me by example the strength and grace of a beautiful soul.

Coco Chanel grew up in an orphanage creative and defiant.She revolutionized the world of fashion forver...Created the iconic Little Black Dress...Her Pearls and costume jewellery and the infamous classic 2.55 named so because of its launch in Feburary 1955...when you hold a bag today you are holding history...the secret pocket in the outside is where Coco used to hide her secret love letters from lovers the and chain reminded her of the chains on the bicycles in the orphanage.
Chanel No.5 revolutionized the world of perfume..when asked where to aplly it...Coco said "a perfume should only be placed where you would like to be kissed"...and When Marilyn Monroe was asked what she wore to bed she breathily replied..."Only Chanel No.5"..

Audrey Hepburn is the quirky part of me...I love her simple carefree spirit to life...her chic sophistication...her simple elegance and her optimism...when told she had cancer she replied...is that all? She was a great philanthropist and worked for the International Childrens Relief organization UNICEF passionately...she worked in the field...nursed sick children and reported on the suffering she saw in countries like Somalia.

Grace Kelly, like Jackie and Audrey continued to set the standard exemplifying what a real lady is about...She was an actress in Hollywood and starred in 11 movies before Her husband Prince Rainier of Monaco saw her and married her...She became Princess Grace of Monaco and her dress was simply stunning..She inspired Hermes to create a bag for her that she used to hide her first pregnancy..the Kelly bag is one of the most lusted in the world...its youthful...classy and on my wishlist for 2008 lol.

Winter chills

2007-09-28T16:05:00.000+04:00

Im still learning how to get the hang of things technologically speaking...I still have to learn how to embed youtube videos and music players so I can get to share with you the mood Im in as I type my entries.

Ive been dubbed a technoblonde on the forum...its not my fault..As sexist as this sounds growing up barbies were for girls and computers were for boys...I was not in the least bit interested in getting all tangled up in weird wires and computer programs...My O levels came and I dreaded the end of year computer project we had to submit...it put me off technology for an extremely long time.

On the bright side...Im gearing up for my yearly vacation...yippy skippy :D I got my approval today and Im feeling absolutely fantabulous already..theres nothing like loads of me-time with a change in scenery and travelling to a place where you feel most in your element to lift the spirits and put the bounce back into your step...come december (YES!Its that long :D ) when I start work again Ill be skipping merrily down the hallways of that dreary dreadful place until they set me free and approve my resignation.

The first evening of my weekends are usually the most fun..I have all this energy that I cant wait to let out..I dim the lights...play my favourite weekend tunes...mostly those that remind me of weekends in another time..and I get dressed and think of a parallel life in history where I would be doing the exact same thing listening to the exact same tune...it feels so familiar yet so different..the past comes to terms with the future..and for those few minutes I let myself slip away into the back of my mind...allowing the familiar ghosts of the past to surround me and comfort me with mischief and laughter.

This is a track that soothes me no matter where I am..the bass...the vibes..its just sexy...I love playing it in the car on a long trip in the dark where its just the privacy of my thoughts and the beat...or in the background in my bedroom as I morph into a more stunning version of my doctor persona.

Daft Punk 'Something about us'.

My sister'sbirthday was a couple of days ago..it was one of the nicest evenings Ive had in a while..I had so much fun designing her birthday cake and I was extremely yippy skippy when it turned out perfect...she loves butterflies and I managed to incorporate that into what I had in mind...needless to say she cheered up immensely at the fact that her bday midweek didnt have to be boring.

Hysteria

2007-09-21T15:00:00.000+04:00

Was just going through my music library..they say a perfume is a memory...evoking moments and stirring up feelings of times gone by...I believe the same applies to music..every song represents a time..a phase..a glimspe of the past..Im tuned to Def Lepards Hysteria...everytime it plays I find myself back in college..taking an afternoon drive when the stress of coursework was too much with my best friend and doing insane things just to vent it out..life wasnt care free...but we were free spirits...to this day it still tugs a half smile to curl across my lips as I find my thoughts continuing to reminisce down memory lane...
Another place...another time...another me.

Quite a while since Ive gotten back but yet I still feel out of my element...more like from the outside looking in.

I am glad to be home..Im glad for stability and newfound 'normalness'..I was hoping that I could create dreams and take my part in the world...I want to be the best surgeon that I can be...what began as a new adventure of hopes and dreams at work ended up in being the very bane of my existance and crippling me both as a person and a physician..I hope one day to help give professionalism a voice in an unprofessionally appalling system that thrives on a sick sink or swim basis and to each his own...Im tired of it of it all...I finally threw in the towel and decided to resign...So far...best decision of my life...

On a personal level...Although Ive never believed in the word cant...Ive tried and tried so hard to fit in and I just cant...literally Im a fish out of water..I miss diversity...I miss the thrill of feeling alive...I miss intellectual discussions...more precisely common sense...I miss tolerance and acceptance..I miss fun challenging experiences that allowed me to get to know myself better by allowing me to push my boundaries...you cant understand people until you know yourself...you cant function as a person unless youre a hundred percent honest with who you are and what you are...and you cant have peace of mind until youve accepted yourself and made peace with the whole package...the good...the bad...the ugly...because from that point on striving to be a better person becomes easier...youre equipped and able to handle the unexpected choices and challenges that life throws your way.

Its been daunting...some days I feel like Im disappearing...I dont want to get out of bed and Im not feeling so bubbly...I just want to hit the pause button and stand still in time...other days I think to myself like a mantra...baby steps...baby steps...theres some shiny rainbow that will appear and bring back all the magic that I used to see life through...as naive as it may seem..I still wont believe in cant...

Bitter lemonade

2007-09-18T14:33:00.000+04:00

"Bitter lemonade on a cold summer day a sorry serenade but you said i neednt cry and if you should feel misunderstood maybe i could defer our first goodbye bitter lemonade our lives we paid for the moments we prayed together forever's a cliche and ever we say but never do we trust in forever to each is his own a clone of a heart and stone of adam&eve's unjust fairytales exist in the midst of a play in the fist of a game they call lust.. love will only be when we see the possibilities.. of sacrifice and for us i shall pray oh my bitter lemonade.. for sweet judgement day in Sweet Afterlife.."

Meyam.

My favourite poet in cyberspace...one of my favourite bestests..Meyam...ubertalented...uberfunny..and gets me like nobodys business...no judgement...just fun..lots of laughter and lots of her sassy no-nonsense attitude to life.
I adore Meyams poetry...and although my poetry has remained very private over the years..I gave in to the urge in me to immediately reply back one night...here is our collaboration...

A Promise
Meyam:
Help me understand this rollercoaster ride..of never ending madness you planted one inside....never did you tell those around me of your crime...i sometimes wish you had hands that drip of aided suicide....a face i'd recognize before the shake of hands....a walk around the city of Heartbreak... before the neighboring lands.... love if i were you i would seal the perfect deal....with a warning before attempt; hearts should be made of steel.
PinkChampagne:
Hearts indeed should be made of steel...numbness I wish to only feel..contradiction burns whats lost not found...Memories moments cocoon surround..Love..you haunt before sunrise..bring my senses back to life...will it fade will it rest..words and walls...no more pretence.

One of the most profound moments we go through are the moments we realize we lose...a state of being which forces us to question so much and reflect on the could be's and maybe's...I let go of a part of myself that could not be reclaimed because I didnt own it...its out there somewhere on its own....I believed in it and I still do...not in its outcome..but in its strength...its uncanny ability to stay put together even when my faith in it wavered...its given me resilience when I needed it...given me hope when I never realized that I had lost it...dispelled all my preconceived notions about how I thought I should be...gifted me with the most fantabulous times Ive ever had..and I decided to allow that happiness to enrich life by setting it free.
We all think each and every part of us belongs to us but thats not true...everyday we give parts of ourselves to others...our thoughts...our feelings...our patience...our time...we pass on lessons...we learn lessons..we create moments within our families...our friends...our workplace...sometimes those things stay with you...other times when its for a worthier cause you choose to let them go.

Rehab

2007-09-02T11:57:00.002+04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUpsX7ihHdY&mode=related&search=

"Pain comes in all forms...the small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain...The normal pains we live with every day..Than theres the kind of pain we cant ignore..A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else...makes the rest of the world fade away...Until all we can think about is how much we hurt.
How you manage your pain is up to you.
Pain.
We anesthetize..write it out...embrace it...ignore it.And for some of us the best way to manage pain is to just push through it...
Pain.
You just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed, but sometimes the pain gets you when you least expect it, hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it, and life always makes more."

Bedtime thought:
Strength...often the knowledge that youre strong is what makes close ones take comfort in the fact that you'll be okay...sometimes thats a good thing...and sometimes...nothing in this world can make you feel more alone...

Utopia

2007-08-29T19:20:00.001+04:00

I like being alone...I love the feeling...soothing thoughts...a world of reveries....a utopia not polluted with menial trivia of everydays humdrum existence.

Im lost in my own world these days...stressed would be an understatement...but this too shall pass...I recently resigned at work and it felt absolutely fantabulous...its just waiting the for the approval thats boring me..

In the meantime Im registering for my American Board exams to begin the first step of applying to the toughest surgery residency program out there to train me into becoming the best plastic surgeon I can be.

Ive also been reading alot this summer...my summer list was brimming with titles that I will continue to read through to early fall...

Im loving the Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini a raw and emotional story of a man who returns to his native Afghanistan still under Taliban rule to right a longstanding wrong and rescue his childhoods friend son..I cant wait for the movie adaptation thats due to be released this winter...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1Ivdc76nAY&mode=related&search=

Also interestingly is the book "The spiral staircase; My climb out of darkness" by renowed neosprituallyreligious author Karen Armstrong who gives readers a stunningly poignant account about the nature of spiritual growth.

And I absolutely cannot cannot stop without mentioning Elisabeth Gilbert's memoirs 'Eat...Pray..Love' a lighthearted but deep account of recovery...discovery and spiritual soul searching...her exuberance and witty humour had me laughing out loud as I followed her journey across the lush backdrops of Italy..India and Bali and reinspired my belief that passion will always be your guiding light.

Welcome to Insomnia

2007-08-20T18:41:00.000+04:00

Tonight seems to be pretty slow and peaceful...been like that for a while...its a lazy summer and I eagerly wait for the begining breezes of winter...
I miss the snow...growing up there'd always be snow every winter and Id press my nose to the window as a child waiting for mom to go upstairs so that I could run off in the night and see if the snowman we built that day would come alive with magic....
I always wanted to grow up so that noone would ever tell me when to go to bed...here I am...wishing I had that childhood back...wishing those dreams and stories and fairytales really were true...when all wasnt well we would hide into our beds under the covers to a lullaby...
As adults we have the voices of our thoughts in the silence of another insomniac night..

Here are my memoirs...

To be or not to be

2007-06-06T12:06:00.001+04:00

"Journeys end in Lovers meeting" Shakespeare.
I cant think of anything that perpetuated my romantic notions more than Shakespeare..Back in school I loved his sonnets..his poetry...his work..he fueled all idealistic fantasies in a very realistic world. I came to discover that passion was my secret to life...It helped me channel all my energy into doing all the things I believed in...allowed me to stand up for the causes I felt were worth fighting for and got me in loads of trouble countless times.. Passionate people are also very impulsive and thats a lethal combination. It didnt stop me...and I never learned...interestingly in the worst of times when Id be in the middle of some catastrophe..I realized he was right 'Though this be madness,yet there is method in 't '...I found out so much about myself...I questioned and I reflected...What I gained spiritually was worth the price I had paid...made the light shine a bit brighter and propelled me to carry on... Its so easy to take the safe route...stay in the safe zone and blend in...I did that alot after moving back here...So worried about the intensity of passion I had in me...didnt want to be misunderstood and labelled by my own..figured that I was doing the right thing...and convinced myself that I was now an adult starting a fresh page with a scheduled life...and that accepting that would be for the best.. 'Cowards die many times before their deaths'...It couldnt ring more true..honesty is not with other people...its with yourself...It took one incident to turn my world upside down and realize that everything Ive been striving for led me off the path that Id written for myself...I wasnt being true to myself...and in turn I'd always feel empty inside...By my own standards I had failed miserably... The path to greatness isnt that of achieving recognition...it isnt that of having material wealth...its a feeling of completeness. Its a connection..with yourself and the world around you...its showing courage when you least feel like it..its being true to the core and unleashing your passion to pave your own way..

Karma

2007-03-12T19:15:00.001+04:00

I know this is a little early to be ticktocking but I cant help it...my mind has been a flurry of thoughts and inspirations..emotions tangled and weaved into my head...where does it all make sense in my soul?
I look into my coffee cup and stare at the glossy black liquid steaming in front of me...I watch the wisps of smoke come out and crawl up into the atmosphere slowly..delicately...stretching out into the air like a cat unfurling on its cushion...only to disappear quietly leaving behind its unmistakeable heady aroma to diffuse through the room as I write down my thoughts...before I absentmindedly comfort myself with another sip of my bitter drink lost in my own world..
I feel like Ive stepped out of my comfort zone...Im in a territory thats so new but so familiar at the same time...reminescent of days gone by...If I believed in it then I would think of it as a reincarnation of another time...another place...karma bringing me back full circle to discover what truth?..That I have yet to know...
The dreams we have are always different than reality...sometimes our dreams are divine creations from our innermost wishes...and sometimes reality surpasses our wildest expectations and makes all that we've ever believed in worth living for..And sometimes whats more important in life as we go through it is just having something to hold on to and hope for..

Passage through time

2007-01-17T15:14:00.001+04:00

I turned my head and glanced at him. My eyes sparkled with amusement..."Im sorry to be poking holes in your bucket of self esteem...Maybe you should slip into something more comfortable...like a coma perhaps...You know...youre not alone...Im with you."

Excerpted from PinkChampagne's personal diary.

Interestingly complex..Life..in all its forms.

Interestingly intimate..Trust...Trust in a person...Trust is trusting that.
Interestingly Strange...The what ifs...knowing nothing...but still...
Wonder....Those who look for love even though they are convinced it doesnt exist. Reflection...Memories..Moments...private times that stay etched in the mind.
Nostalgia..Days gone by...lost memories of carefree nonchalance..innocent youthful arrogance..butterflies and heady anticipation.
Resilience...going to hell and back and standing on the other side.
Fact..Some are meant to be alone..always on the outside looking in..finding a niche when they realize they are their own best friends.
Truth..The heart cant be healed..Time doesnt heal..it teaches how to cope better.
Bittersweet...The place in time..the sanctuary that may be..but cant be...too raw to visit..
Denial..blocking and immunizing...allowing it all to fade away with the ashes of the past...becoming weary days and nights of solitude that pass into dreamless slumber.
Courage...When life takes a very different path...the unknown...because you cant go back to the path you once knew.
Spirit...when you cant go back to your safeground because youve changed...